New Revelation Among The Choir

I live in this amazing world where we are all waiting for something amazing to reveal itself to each one of us in our own personal way or maybe even in one BIG way. Well that "something amazing" is Jesus Christ and He is revealing Himself to each one of us every day, every moment, all the time. We just have to make a choice to either deny it as a revelation and take it as just a thought or Satan getting to us, or we can take it as Jesus Christ Almighty Himself, speaking to us through the Holy Spirit.

It's kind of like saying yes or no if you know someone from school and if you ever talked to them. When they come up to you, years later after graduation, and all of a sudden want to be a friend or just have a random chat. You can either deny that you know them while you are in front of your friends or you can say HI such and such. Either way, you don't know where it's going to lead to.

Now this lovely message leads up to what I have been going through for a long time. I have been probably denying God an amazing reach out to others through my own life obstacles just because I was waiting for a big revelation for Him, kind of like Moses and the burning bush. Well quite a few people who know me know that I want to go into the ministry and work with youth somehow, not quite sure. But I also want to get the message across that it doesn't matter what others think, what really matters is what God thinks and what we think of ourselves. There's more to it but that's the basic jist of it. Well I have a possibility to work with youth in an area that I can tell is really needed but I know that I still need healing too in this part, which I am currently working on. As I'm writing this, things are coming to me and tell me that I will have help and guidance and leadership. I still need prayer for this. It could be a really good thing for Christ. I know I'm not the only one who is praying about it.

Kim S.

25th Day of Praise For God!!

In the book "Thirty-One Days of Praise" by Ruth Meyers, it is a glorious thanksgiving toward God of what He has given and blessed us with. I started reading it with my aunt while working just to start work or maybe in the middle of work just to keep things good between us, but then I would every once in a while read it just because I was having a rough day and needed to see what reminder I needed to have that God had given me in my life. Well recently it seemed like every day, from day 17th to now day 25, it has all been something I truely need and have been blessed with or maybe struggling with at that time or even moment.

You know that song "Praise You in This Storm" By Casting Crowns? Well I've been dealing with a big storm. A huge one as a matter of fact and in some cases it came to the point where I was even doubting God and His power. I was afraid to admit it. I had believed in God my whole life and for me, a life long Christian and believer in Christ, to doubt God and His power, that's hard to comprehend. I was fighting it for the longest time. I would be crying out to God saying save me from this I want to believe You. After I finally admitted it to a friend, that I was doubting God, they said, Hey we all doubt God sometime, He wants us to. That doesn't mean that you don't believe though.

Now back to the book, Day 24 & 25 kept thanking God for our many failures and mistakes and says that He works ALL things for the good. When I read that I immediately thought oh so He must include every bad thought, every hurtful word, everything that I had ever done without ever thinking to anyone that I loved, He used "those" for good? Then it really came to me when maybe a week ago I had put on a new song on my myspace "Hold Fast" by MercyMe, honestly I put it on because I love MercyMe and from what the lyrics sounded, it was exactly what I needed to hear. Well then not too long later, a friend who I hadn't talked in ages, messaged me and said that the same song had touched them and they even thought about getting the cd. Go figure. My struggles that I was dealing with and me not even thinking about what song I was going to put on my myspace can touch someone. God does work in some miraculous ways.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

"He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."" Matthew 17:20

Kim S.

Musician's Heart

I have always enjoyed writing, ever since I was young, but only for pure entertainment. Just to write stories of what I wished would happen in my life. Like my own little fairy tales, they would trail on forever. Sometimes I wouldn't even write them. I would be talking to God and it would be like a prayer telling Him, "It would be nice if this would happen this way....." Occasionally I catch myself doing that still. But now more and more I have get my writings from what I hear or see, whether worship songs or music that I hear on the radio. I remember the first poem that I ever wrote in high school was a kind of silly, now that I think about it, childlike poem called "I Want You Back" sort of my own rendition to the NSYNC song "I Want You Back" but I was my own. As I grew up though, I got some really serious writings that all have to do with something that I thought never really understood. They were all about Love and about Jesus' coming back. Both things I was really looking forward to, but hadn't really grasped the concept of. I was still young, could you blame me?
Well now, here I come to you with a whole different view. I really desiring to know what God's love is, what I means to be held in His arms, to really grasp the beauty that He made in me, and to be able to love others I know not nearly as much as He loves me or them but just to try and let them know that He cares. That's what I want.
I remember not to long ago I was in a weird place, trying to understand the whole concept of God's role as a Father and how He sends other Godly men in the to take over the father role if your father is absent. And something came to me, at first I didn't know what to do and then I just kept writing, so here it is:

You are beautiful! Softly woven in God's image. There is nothing in this world like you.
Just think not one person, not one! has gone through all the glorious things I have designed
specifically for you.
So anytime you feel down or depressed or not worthy of love, or not even worthy of someone else's touch, trust, hope, care, love, mercy, grace, intimacy, anything. Just remember
that God gave you that all first through His Son living a sin free life
but then taking your sins and bearing them on the cross to rise again and to give you life.

To Live It Abundantly!

Love ,
Your Daddy!!

Kim S.

Fortune Cookies...

The other day I was hanging out with a group of friends and picked up a fortune cookie. Now let me tell you something about myself, when reading fortunes for fortune cookies, I don't really take them and believe that they really have anything to do with me or my fortune or whatever the case may be. But in this case, it was quite piculuar(sp?) to receive this one fortune. It said
something along the lines of " You must make changes before receiving your reward."

Now take a peak at my past blogs, I've been seriously changing alot about myself in the dating ascpect(I used to be TERRIFIED of dating), I learned how much I've changed in just one year in being away from my friends & co-workers (I was searching for way to get back), and just recently I've found out that I have some serious trust issues(never knew I had). Can we talk about changes?! The real question is what is the reward?!

I suppose for now I just need to be patient and live my life as if I had never came across that fortune cookie. Like it says in the Bible:

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice...
Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."
Philippians 4:4, 6

My requests right now are that my mind to calmed and my heart be put to rest through God's peace. No stress!

Make Your Requests Know To Him! He's Listening



Kim S.

And You Thought Men Had Commitment Issues...

It wasn't until someone that I had talked a couple times and hardly knew me, could randomly blurt out one kind of pressure filled night of a conversation, "Why don't you trust people?!" That totally caught off by surprise. I didn't even respond to it. How could they, who I hardly talk to & doesn't even know my life story, accuse ME of not trusting people? Well as I've looked at it more and more since that question came to me, I realized maybe I do have some trust issues. Oh sure I can trust that a person will do something but its those really important things that matter to me.

Did you know that in the dictionary there are 12 definitions for the word, commit?

Commit:

1.	to give in trust or charge; consign.

2.	to consign for preservation: to commit ideas to writing; to commit a poem to memory.

3.	to pledge (oneself) to a position on an issue or question; express (one's intention, feeling, etc.): Asked if he was a candidate, he refused to commit himself.

4.	to bind or obligate, as by pledge or assurance; pledge: to commit oneself to a promise; to be committed to a course of action.

5.	to entrust, esp. for safekeeping; commend: to commit one's soul to God.

6.	to do; perform; perpetrate: to commit murder; to commit an error.

7.	to consign to custody: to commit a delinquent to a reformatory.

8.	to place in a mental institution or hospital by or as if by legal authority: He was committed on the certificate of two psychiatrists.

9.	to deliver for treatment, disposal, etc.; relegate: to commit a manuscript to the flames.

10.	to send into a battle: The commander has committed all his troops to the front lines.

11.	Parliamentary Procedure. to refer (a bill or the like) to a committee for consideration.

–verb (used without object)

12.	to pledge or engage oneself: an athlete who commits to the highest standards.

But I think the only commit that really matters to God is when we give Him our whole hearts.

"So that all the peoples of the earth may know that the LORD is God and that there is no other. But your hearts must be fully committed to the LORD our God, to live by his decrees and obey his commands, as at this time.Then the king and all Israel with him offered sacrifices before the LORD. "
1 Kings 8: 60 - 62

He doesn't except for us all to be perfect, but I know that God expects me to live my life to be more Christlike. He will guide me through these trust issues and help me overcome them. I trust in Him.



Kim S.

On The Edge...

Right when I thought I had everything under control, I was hit with something unexpected. That tends to happen to all of us, I would suppose. These past couple weeks have been a doozy of a life for me, and I know they're just the beginning of my life but God has made it so that I have to put my life in His hands. I really worried alot about what others would think or how they would react to certain news, but then when I finally told them, they shrugged it off like there was nothing. I felt like some manic depressive or something because I was stressing over the REALLY small stuff in life when God wanted me to just live for Him. Whoever came up with the phrase "don't sweat the small stuff" was a pure genius but I don't really think anyone listens to it until its way too late and they're already sweating it all. LOL

Seriously, Don't sweat the small stuff in life. That's all God's work, even then He doens't even sweat it. He knows its going to be okay in the end.

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard you hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

~ Philippians 4:6-7

Kim S.

My Ultimate Goals In Life

Times have really changed for me recently and I've thought about my over time goals in life and my more reachable goals that both by God's power, definetly not by mine, are capable. And so I'd like to place here so you know what they are, and for future reference.

Here you go~>

Over Time Goals:

~ Write a Book about my family's life

~ Start a ministry or two for youth

~ Share my life & struggles with at least one person in my path
~ Learn the guitar
~ Experience PURE JOY

Goals for the next 365 days:
~ Pay off at least one of the two school debts
~ Experience PURE JOY
~ Watch every movie stated in both Captivating & Wild at Heart
~ Watch all movies that have a Cinderella theme
~ Memorize Philipians 4
~ Become Transparent

Now I have to admit, some of these goals may look either childish or just plain scratch-your-head-and-think-a-little but they hold meaning to me. I know that without God's guidance and fellowship with other Godly Christians, I can't achieve them. Or should I say I can but they just wouldn't be worth it? I just pray that God will lead me to the right people in my life right now or in the future that will help me achieve them.



Kim S.

Prayers / Roadie Day 1 & 2

We were packing the car up and there obviously not going to be enough room for my air mattress so I had to ring up a friend (Answered prayed 1) she didn't answer but I left a message, as much as I dislike leaving messages. Then I went on doing something new for our travels, a small quiet time, then we all went around and prayed a short lil' prayer. As I was about to finish, she called back and said she would let me borrow an air mattress and sheets. ISN'T GOD GREAT!!!!!!! Then we went on the road, it was pleasant nothing major happened(another answered prayer 2). Then we arrived in VA early (answered prayer 3). The next day was sort of long but not really. I got to see a cousin of mine and his girlfriend, who I had never met. These days I've been really into wanting to see my cousins and getting to know them and now this was a great way(sooo answered prayer 4). They saw me have a seizure which was weird but I liked that they didn't flee from the scene. I tend to think that if anyone sees me have one, they'll flee, but it was very, how do I put it, heartwarming to know that they didn't they that I was going insane or something (answered prayer 5).

God answers prayers, it just takes time or sometimes He says no, or yes. He's cool like that.

Kim S.

Prayer & Life Rocks BABY!!!!!

I absolutely LOVE prayer. It is speaking to God on a whole different level. My entire life, I've desired to understand God in a different way. Going to church never seeming to be enough, reading the Bible had been just weird for me, and fellowship was such a fake on my own. Then I just started praying. At the beginning, in little tiny ways, asking for small things. And God is totally SWEET!!!! It's kindof sareal(sp?) that I am here in Maryland and that I have been hanging out with my friends and just all that stuff. I still am trying to understand WHY. But it is so flippin' beautiful that God decided to let me be here just for a short while. Prayer is that time to be in one with God and have, as Bill Hornsby said once, silence & solitude. Sometimes you don't even have to be silent. You don't even have to be in solitude. I like how right now as I am sitting here typing this, I am completely surronded by others. But I don't really think that they know what I am writing or thinking about, or they won't until I publish this. Its cool like that. LOL

Prayer rocks but you won't be able to find out the results from it until you speak to God and communicate with Him without trying to get anything out of Him.

Kim S.

A Day On The Beach...

Oh to spend an entire day on God's wonderful creation and see what He made for us all to take in is just like, I guess (since I've never been there) Heaven On Earth. There were so many moments that I wanted to just back out and say "NO I'm not doing it, I'm not going to be welcomed with opened arms." But I could tell that God had other plans for this day.

I bet you're wondering what in the world is she talking about?! Well, my fine feathered fireworked friend, on the Fourth of July, I spent the ENTIRE day on the beach. And it was FANTABULOUS!!!! I do mean that in the most true form. These days God has truly seen and heard my heart's cry and desire for friends and people to be able to, I guess, just be somewhat, if not already, real with. And now I'm kind of at this point where I don't even know who I am anymore. Well God is amazing. He truly is. This weekend I was probably more scared than anybody because I knew NO ONE, but maybe one or two and that was by them greeting me. I was not sure of what God was going to do, but God took control. And did He ever?! I had a great time. I met so many people and just really got to understand a little bit more about myself. It was great. There were times where I had to sit and just kind of soak in the the atmosphere, well hey it is a beach and there is a sun right above us, isn't there?! But during those times I medidated on the whole idea that there I was sitting resting on what God had created for me just years ago, well maybe not just years ago but I think we get the idea. There was nothing fancy there except for some awesome Christian music playing in the background and a few tents here and there, but really it was just us and God's creation, simple as that. I loved it. There was a time in my life where I hated going to the beach. I hated the sand in toes, I hated the water in my hair, I hated the birds. I hated it all. And now I look back at this, and it just erases it from my memory. I am no nature freak by any means necesary but now I see THE CREATION in a COMPLETELY different light. It's beautiful and magnificient, yet we destroy it to make way for ourselves.
Well, I'm not done with the day at the beach quite yet. Over the day, I finally got over my fear of the water and waves, and went into the beach twice. Isn't God great and fear conquering?!! I also played some ball and just hung out . It was great. I think a truly awesome gift God gave us after being together in the sun and fellowshipping was just worshipping Him and thanking Him for the amazing lives He had blessed us with and and sacrificing His Son, Jesus, on that Cross so that we may be able to live this life for Him and bring others to Him. Just a couple acoustic guitars, bongos and our voices, singing out to Him, praising and thanking Him for what He has done and will do our lives there on the beach, His Creation. No Fancy Amps, No Flashy Lights, No PowerPoints, Nothing, Just Us & Him. That's really all He wants. It was great. It was beyond GREAT!!

Hebrews 12:28-29
Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken,
let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire.”

Kim S.

Things of Symbolism & Importance...

There are those times in a person's life where they truly recongnize what is valuable to them and what makes them cringe inside. Today, I thought I had made a major break through just by telling my family that I was reading a book about dating and relationships but then today everywhere someone was told to read, and I truly felt that God was telling that He had something else to say to me. I didn't do it until this afternoon but I did eventually. Then I read something that made me come to grips, I need to find MYSELF and the passions that God has bestowed upon me for His kingdom before I even think about relationships or any of that sort. And as I looked back at what really has mattered to me, I see the things that have brought true joy, and happiness, music and being a part of others in the sense of this:

John 17:15-17

15My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. 17Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.

For me, it means I can be in the world but not of the world. I can live in it and have loved ones that are a part of it but that doesn't mean that I have to be of that. I can and will still continuously love my Daddy, Abba, even if I sin. I know He loves me No matter what. That's just an amazing thing to comprehend.

I still sit here and ponder His will for the life that He created for me to live for Him. I just know that I am a blank sheet of paper and Jesus is the CRAYON. I am the blank canvas and He is the WATER COLORS. I am nothingness and Jesus is Everything.

God is The Painter. The Ultimate Artist. The Musician. The Speaker. The Everything.

Kim S.

Life Freedom...God-Given Freedom

Previous posts I have said that I would never tell my family that I read Boundaries In Dating. Well today, it was kind of slow but a God granted & God blessed experience. I felt like that my mom, aunt, sister, and grandma all understood where I was coming from when I said that I was fearful of telling them about it. When I was given their full attention, I felt like God was giving me the words to speak. It was fabulous!!!

God is an AMAZING GOD!!! He made healthy family relationships possible.
"Thank you, God."



Kim S.

Dating Truthes...or Lies

Boundaries in Dating(cont'd)
When I read a book that I really like, I tend to be one who just speeds right through it because I want to find out the ending. But this book is one where I just want to soak it all in. And I've never ever EVER hidden a book from my family before. EVER. I guess I feel like if they find out that I am reading a book about dating, it's all over for me, they will be fixing me up for sure and I don't want my first date to be like that. God is really making me see things in a whole different way of light. I never thought relationships could be on that type of level and still be fun and exciting at the same time. It's wonderful. Thanks be to God!!




Kim S.

What Boundaries...In Dating that is?

Hi
God has seriously been speaking to me lately. I don't like admitting the honest truth but after reading just the first chapter of this book, I'm going to.
If you put the word, ambiguous, in front of a kindergartener and asked them to tell you what it meant, they would have no clue(unless they were some God-Bless genius). Well that's me with dating. It's ALL over the place. Everywhere. I can't seem to hide from it. However, I don't know what it is.
Recently, the book, Boundaries in Dating, has been leaping out at me and this evening I read it, or just the first chapter. It's very different from what I have seen in my peers' relationships. I've interpreted so many different things. I've been so afraid to get involved and just because of God and His amazingly Divine Power, He made me see the good things in solid dating relationships, just in one chapter. I'm not going to give up on the book and go hop into the dating world just yet. But it just shows that there are many things in a relationship outside the stately obvious. I've been searching for something more. God gave me that ultimately with His Son and He knows my deepest desires. He won't hurt me. I love those truthes. They're amazing.



Kim S.

The Start of Something Amazingly New!!

Hi
Who would think that God would have such a plan as this? To put me, Kim, on this earth to become something important in His kingdom. I'm still kind of bewildered by that fact. I mean seriously I've looked at so many things that have happened in just the past few days, weeks, months, or even years, and I say "God, why did You save me from all those experiences?" or " Why did you let those great things happen to me?" It still puts me in awe. He truly has my best interest in mind and heart. This morning I sat down and almost cried finally learning that God loves me more than anyone ever could in this world, and it almost scares me but I love that I have someone up there loving me NO MATTER what I do wrong or right in my life. It's great. You can't find that anywhere on the face of the earth or in the entire galaxy. It has taken me over 22 yrs and a ton of broken hearts to figure this Godly love thing out. I've known that He's loved me unconditionally but I never thought about other factors. It's truly the unseen. Wow!!

1Corinthians 13 says:

Love

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Kim S.