You Matter To GOD!!!

You Matter To God!

Insert name, you matter to God.
My one of my church pastor's says that alot in his messages and I will admit I never understood what it meant when he said that. When I initially heard that phrase, I was thinking, "Oh only if I fulfill my purpose in life and do what God calls me to do and don't make any mistakes and work to live a perfect life for God, spreading His word and love out there." But then I thought there's got to be more to this phrase "You matter to God."
I began to think well there was those two criminals on the hill with Jesus when He was crucified. One said, "So you're the Messiah, are you? Prove it by saving yourself - and us, to, while you're at it!"But the other criminal protested, "Don't you fear God even when you are dying? We deserve to die for our eveil deeds, but this man hasn't done anything wrong." Then he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom." And Jesus replied, "I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise." (Luke 23:39-43)
With that, I looked at how the criminal who protested, who feared God and asked Jesus to remember him, he didn't do anything big he didn't go into the world and spread God's word, he didn't do alot, but he did believe that Jesus Christ was the Messiah and feared God in a way that mattered to Him.
Now this doesn't say that all the evil people in the bible or in the world don't matter to God. But that's a whole nother blog Right now I am focusing on the fact that we matter to God.
I thought about that passage and then I thought well what does it mean to matter to someone. What does it mean to matter to God? I thought about my family. I don't necessarily have to do anything for them, I just know that I matter to them and they love me. I hadn't thought about that in a long time. I was in the kitchen getting dinner ready for the family and I started tearing up. My sister noticed it. I didn't want to go into big depth about it. But I thought it would definitely be a great blog.
With all this said, I finally understand what it means to matter to someone and even more importantly God.
I don't have to do anything, I just matter, I am important, I am loved, I am cared for. He is always with me. He will leave the rest of the group just to find me, the that strayed.
MMMMM What amazing thoughts!!!
Go God!!
Kim S.

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What is a Christian?

What is a Christian?
When that question came to me once, I was kind of baffelled because I have always viewed a Christian as someone who is out the passionately telling others about Christ and making a difference for Christ, not such mouch focusing on the careers of the world or much else but truly going out there and passionately speaking the truth of God with love. Well I have to say that can be one view of a Christian but I am now realizing that a Christian does not just have to be a out there on a soap box preaching to others. Or going to house to house. Or be a graduate of the ministry. I'm now realizing a Christian is a person who goes into the world knowing that God is in control of their lives, wherever they go, whatever they do, He is there. And even more Jesus is walking with them, holding their hand, picking them up when they fall. Hearing them when they pray out loud. And the Holy Spirit is their way to hear Father God respond in ever so many different ways
I'm now realizing a Christian is not just the preacher in church or the speaker that we see at a conference, they are the doctor we have for check ups, the neighbor we have down the road, the friend we see everyday, the cashier at the grocery store, the bank teller, the newscaster on TV, the airforce guy, the waiter at the resteraunt. It's so hard for me to admit to that I have looked up to people with such passion as that. But the same people who do the I just mentioned were just called in a diffent way. God called someone to be a preacher, and also gave someone a desire to be a doctor or a teacher but that doesn't mean that their faith in God has deminisced(sp?).
I don't know if this helps anyone else but writing this sure helped me.
Love ya,Kim

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Coming to Grips...

I'm finally coming to grips with something. I don't want to go back to the life before. In the sense of, the memories. you know how some memories stick wiht you for ever and you can't get them out of your head, they can be good, they can be bad, but you wouldn't trade them for the world, because you know personally that God put those times those situations in your life to make you who you are at this moment(wow that's a run on sentence). Well that's what I'm talking about. I don't want to go back to those memories. I don't want to relive to memories the bad ones at least, continuously over and over again. If there is a time for me to see my friends or go back to the places of those memories, then let it be, but I won't force it. I want to live in the now. Be happy with who I am now. Where I am now. And with the amazing people that God has placed me with. Take in the time I have with my family and friends. Learn who I am and who God wants me to be. Live & walk in His presence everyday.
Kim

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Stand out of the Crowd

The hardest years of my life by far were my high school years. I go back to them practically everyday. The memories are etched in my memory, as iff they could never be erased. Some people say that their high school years are are the best. Some people say that theirs were the worst. While others, they just say it was all a blur, mixed drugs and booze. Well I can't say any of that. I'm 23 yrs old and I still feel as if my my life is there but I know I'm not. I went back to my high school and I just didn't fit in to the school, the town, the area. It was like God had changed me into a whole new person. I may be able to think back on those memories but its as if I'm not a part of that time or that town anymore. He's changed me into something brand new. Something deep inside is better, something or someone wants to make a difference in peoples lives while I'm here.
Immediately after I left my town, I decided to devote my life into youth ministry and giving my time in the church. Through that I truely fell in love with the youth, guiding them through their lives, being there, laughing with them, crying with them, sharing memories with them, being silly with them, just being a kid with them. I had so many adult role models to go to for advice in situations that were way over my head or when the kids got a lil roudy. But I still believe at that point in my life I was in my heart a child, I wasn't ready for the responsibility of being a leader. I had this fear of people hating me. And even to this day it still creeps in. I will tell you that fear of people hating you will take over you. It will make you not want to do what you love to do. It hurts you terribly. I can't stand it. It doesn't want you to be yourself. It wants you to be someone you are not. If there is one thing in the world that I can't stand, it is that, the fear of people hating me. When I was in high school, it didn't consume me so much, sometime people would ask me why I hung out with certain people or why i don't do certain thing or why I go to church, and I'd reply that's who I am, or I like this person or this person is nice, or I don't want to do that. NOw as I've gotten older, it is much stronger, much harder. To stand out of the crowd and not be the typical. But that's what God asks us to do, stand out of the crowd, not be like everyone else.

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I sometimes...

I sometimes...
I sometimes feel like
I am being pulled away
from who I am

But then when I go back
to where I used to be,
I miss the new.

And then I sit and say,
"God take this I can't take it.
You are the Master, the Driver,
I want what You want."

I love to stare at the sky,
the clouds, the stars, the moons
partly because they are beautiful
but even more knowing
and thinking that My Wonderful Master
created them for me to gaze at.
I sometimes love to lay in the grass
and daydream about the past, the future, and the present
It's wonderful to know that my Daddy knows what I am dreaming
He maybe laughing, smiling, waiting for the moment when I move on, and proud of me for doing something out of my comfort zone

I sometimes love to sing out loud
without people hearing me or with people hearing
I oddly enough don't like alot attention on me
I think its odd because I am a very out going girl
That's the creativity of God.

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A Long Walk Will...

A long walk will either (a) wear you down to the point where you have call home and ask you family to pick you up, or (b) give you some strengthening courage to go do things that were scared to do before.
I'm partially saying in reference to myself and what I did this afternoon, but also talking about any problem we are scared to face on our own. Maybe we just take a walk, talk it out with God, give Him our worries, talk out the negatives and positives. That's what God is there for. He's a listening ear.
Not to leave out the shoulder to cry on. The arms to hold you when you need to be comforted. He's the supplier of all our needs and then SOME!! He's our protecter. Our defender. He gives us joy & laughter. He even better gives us wisdom when we really don't feel it or understand it. It's amazing what God does for us.
What I think is so cool and amazing and the best is when I think and say and write about this I'm also talking about Jesus Christ. He is One with the Father. I don't truly understand, not completely but I don't think anyone will untill we go to Heaven. But it's a great thing to think about.
Wow just imagine all that came from a hour 45 min walk. Go God!!
Kim

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Single Womans Prayer

Single Woman's Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep.

One who's handsome, smart and strong,
Who's not afraid to admit when he is wrong.

One who thinks before he speaks.
When he promises to call, he doesn't wait six weeks.

I pray that he is gainfully employed,
Won't lose his cool when he's annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh send me a man who will make love to my mind.
Know what to say when I ask "How fat is my behind?"

One who'll make love till my body's a' itchin'
He brings ME a sandwich too, when he goes to the kitchen.

I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And never compare me to my best friend.

Thank you in advance and now I'll just wait,
For I know you will send him before it's too late.
Amen

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OH To Break Out!!

Oh To break out.
To Break out of the routine.
Out of my own selfish bordem
To do something not usual.

Oh To break free.
Of what holds me to my regular life.
To live a life on the edge.
On the edge of possibly not knowing
Where God is going to lead me next.

Trusting Him with everything,
and I DO MEAN EVERYTHING.
From where I work, to what I eat
all the way to pursuing a relationship with someone
and with that one conquering a fear.

Trusting Him that He will be there
holding me, guiding me, talking to me,
putting the right people in my life to help me
with important decisions and/or guidance.
Oh To Break away!!
To Break Out of the Regular Routine!!
-Kim

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Unquenchable, Unstainable, Unfathomable

I sometimes feel so sheltered by the life that I live. Going to church all the time. spending time with my Christian friends. Living at home with my Christian family, protected from the "so-called" world out there. But it's not protection. In so many other ways it's holding back of what maybe God really wants me and so many others to do. To break from what the society wants of us all and be the disciples. To share to the joy and love of God to them. Wherever we go in work, in the grocery store, in the library, in doctor's office, even in our times of deepest heart ache we need to show those that are hurting just as much we are that there is a way out, there is a way to get the love that no one on this great earth can do for us. And that is is God. He is the one who provides it all. Who listens to us we when cry out, when need Him most, He holds us. He love sthe unlovable.That's what his unfailing, unquenchable, unstainable, unfathomable, no words to describe love is like. We can't even imagine it. It's so great how one day we as believers will be filled fully with God's love in Heaven. Here on earth we can only get a small taste of it....when we ask.
Kim

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Patience & Contentment

Patience is a hard thing to have and especially when things do not revolve around yourself. I've learned that recently. I can't make things go my way, not all the time. This is probably the hardest thing to understand but I have to learn it, so that one day I will be able to teach it. If you are going to teach it, you got to learn yourself. Changing the circumstances won't make things any better, if they can make things much worse. And be content at what I have done. There may be a day where I can't do that at all.

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I live in this amazing world where we are all waiting for something amazing to reveal itself to each one of us in our own personal way or maybe even in one BIG way. Well that "something amazing" is Jesus Christ and He is revealing Himself to each one of us every day, every moment, all the time. We just have to make a choice to either deny it as a revelation and take it as just a thought or Satan getting to us, or we can take it as Jesus Christ Almighty Himself, speaking to us through the Holy Spirit. It's kind of like saying yes or no if you know someone from school and if you ever talked to them. When they come up to you, years later after graduation, and all of a sudden want to be a friend or just have a random chat. You can either deny that you know them while you are in front of your friends or you can say HI such and such. Either way, you don't know where it's going to lead to. Now this lovely message leads up to what I have been going through for a long time. I have been probably denying God an amazing reach out to others through my own life obstacles just because I was waiting for a big revelation for Him, kind of like Moses and the burning bush. Well quite a few people who know me know that I want to go into the ministry and work with youth somehow, not quite sure. But I also want to get the message across that it doesn't matter what others think, what really matters is what God thinks and what we think of ourselves. There's more to it but that's the basic jist of it. Well I have a possibility to work with youth in an area that I can tell is really needed but I know that I still need healing too in this part, which I am currently working on. As I'm writing this, things are coming to me and tell me that I will have help and guidance and leadership. I still need prayer for this. It could be a really good thing for Christ. I know I'm not the only one who is praying about it.

Kim S.


Prayer for Serenity

"God, grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

LIVING one day at a time,

ENJOYING one moment at a time;

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace;

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is;

Not as I would have it;

Trusting that You will make all things right

If I surrender to Your will;

So that I may Be reasonsably happy in this Life

And supremely happy with You

FOREVER in the next"

Amen

~Reinhold Niebuhr~

Let God Shine Through

Yesterday...
I decided I was sick of doing things to please others
to make others happy
I decided if I was going to do anything, if I was going to work hard,
I was going to do it for God and God alone.
I annouced that to my friends as I was venting about the troubles and pressures of the home
and they liked that but they tossed in the doing it also for myself.
Maybe make me feel like I accomplished something.
A job well done.
I agree with that
But I feel that I need to put God first in all my jobs.
Whether the mediocre cleaning of the floor, or sweeping of the porch
or all the way to helping feed the hungry.
I need to put God first in everything.
If I don't then my head is going to swell up.
So I did that I cleaned the floor, I swept the porch, I cleaned the windows,
so God's glory could shine through. Where the is dirt and must, He is not.
I did it with love, love for Him, love for myself because I just was getting tired of not doing anything, and love for my family. LOVE!!!

Kim S.

Passion & Trust

I recently came across a poem that I wrote a few years ago and I speaks magnitudes about what so many times I feel and I'm sure we all go through in life.

Why Me?

Why Me, God?!

Why Me?

Why did You have chose me

As a representative of Your Kingdom

I'm nothing special

I've done nothing great

Why have I been chosen?

What makes You think

that I can fulfill whatever You command?

I haven't lived Your "Perfect" Life

I haven't drank Your "Perfect" Wine

I don't live in Your "Perfect" Mansion

I didn't ask

I didn't beg

I didn't audition

I didn't sign up

I didn't

I didn't

But You did

You adopted me

You took away the pain

And hurt from before

And made me feel loved

And made me feel wanted

You made me Your Little Princess

Oh I can remember the cornation

I may have not been the best

but I know that I have received

the best reward

I have fallen and tripped

Repeatedly

But You still come to my rescue

But You still come to my aid and my cries

I have said You name in Vanity

And cursed loudly to others

I have lost my temper

And done things I have know You would

Disapprove

But You still come and cradle me

When I am running back to You

You are still right there where I left You

On the trail of Life and Love

My Earthly father's love had diminished

and my earthly mother's love will

slowly die away

But Yours will forever be there

Forever be at the request

Forever be at my longing

Why me?

Why did it have to be me?

Why am I chosen for this task?

Why can't I be tossed to the side line?

Why me?

As I write that I out again, I think about many different times since I have written it that have probably come into my life which I have questioned so many times and been scared and not completely trusted God. That's a big thing that I can say do trust in God but I really have to put it into practice.

New Revelation Among The Choir

I live in this amazing world where we are all waiting for something amazing to reveal itself to each one of us in our own personal way or maybe even in one BIG way. Well that "something amazing" is Jesus Christ and He is revealing Himself to each one of us every day, every moment, all the time. We just have to make a choice to either deny it as a revelation and take it as just a thought or Satan getting to us, or we can take it as Jesus Christ Almighty Himself, speaking to us through the Holy Spirit.

It's kind of like saying yes or no if you know someone from school and if you ever talked to them. When they come up to you, years later after graduation, and all of a sudden want to be a friend or just have a random chat. You can either deny that you know them while you are in front of your friends or you can say HI such and such. Either way, you don't know where it's going to lead to.

Now this lovely message leads up to what I have been going through for a long time. I have been probably denying God an amazing reach out to others through my own life obstacles just because I was waiting for a big revelation for Him, kind of like Moses and the burning bush. Well quite a few people who know me know that I want to go into the ministry and work with youth somehow, not quite sure. But I also want to get the message across that it doesn't matter what others think, what really matters is what God thinks and what we think of ourselves. There's more to it but that's the basic jist of it. Well I have a possibility to work with youth in an area that I can tell is really needed but I know that I still need healing too in this part, which I am currently working on. As I'm writing this, things are coming to me and tell me that I will have help and guidance and leadership. I still need prayer for this. It could be a really good thing for Christ. I know I'm not the only one who is praying about it.

Kim S.

25th Day of Praise For God!!

In the book "Thirty-One Days of Praise" by Ruth Meyers, it is a glorious thanksgiving toward God of what He has given and blessed us with. I started reading it with my aunt while working just to start work or maybe in the middle of work just to keep things good between us, but then I would every once in a while read it just because I was having a rough day and needed to see what reminder I needed to have that God had given me in my life. Well recently it seemed like every day, from day 17th to now day 25, it has all been something I truely need and have been blessed with or maybe struggling with at that time or even moment.

You know that song "Praise You in This Storm" By Casting Crowns? Well I've been dealing with a big storm. A huge one as a matter of fact and in some cases it came to the point where I was even doubting God and His power. I was afraid to admit it. I had believed in God my whole life and for me, a life long Christian and believer in Christ, to doubt God and His power, that's hard to comprehend. I was fighting it for the longest time. I would be crying out to God saying save me from this I want to believe You. After I finally admitted it to a friend, that I was doubting God, they said, Hey we all doubt God sometime, He wants us to. That doesn't mean that you don't believe though.

Now back to the book, Day 24 & 25 kept thanking God for our many failures and mistakes and says that He works ALL things for the good. When I read that I immediately thought oh so He must include every bad thought, every hurtful word, everything that I had ever done without ever thinking to anyone that I loved, He used "those" for good? Then it really came to me when maybe a week ago I had put on a new song on my myspace "Hold Fast" by MercyMe, honestly I put it on because I love MercyMe and from what the lyrics sounded, it was exactly what I needed to hear. Well then not too long later, a friend who I hadn't talked in ages, messaged me and said that the same song had touched them and they even thought about getting the cd. Go figure. My struggles that I was dealing with and me not even thinking about what song I was going to put on my myspace can touch someone. God does work in some miraculous ways.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

"He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."" Matthew 17:20

Kim S.

Musician's Heart

I have always enjoyed writing, ever since I was young, but only for pure entertainment. Just to write stories of what I wished would happen in my life. Like my own little fairy tales, they would trail on forever. Sometimes I wouldn't even write them. I would be talking to God and it would be like a prayer telling Him, "It would be nice if this would happen this way....." Occasionally I catch myself doing that still. But now more and more I have get my writings from what I hear or see, whether worship songs or music that I hear on the radio. I remember the first poem that I ever wrote in high school was a kind of silly, now that I think about it, childlike poem called "I Want You Back" sort of my own rendition to the NSYNC song "I Want You Back" but I was my own. As I grew up though, I got some really serious writings that all have to do with something that I thought never really understood. They were all about Love and about Jesus' coming back. Both things I was really looking forward to, but hadn't really grasped the concept of. I was still young, could you blame me?
Well now, here I come to you with a whole different view. I really desiring to know what God's love is, what I means to be held in His arms, to really grasp the beauty that He made in me, and to be able to love others I know not nearly as much as He loves me or them but just to try and let them know that He cares. That's what I want.
I remember not to long ago I was in a weird place, trying to understand the whole concept of God's role as a Father and how He sends other Godly men in the to take over the father role if your father is absent. And something came to me, at first I didn't know what to do and then I just kept writing, so here it is:

You are beautiful! Softly woven in God's image. There is nothing in this world like you.
Just think not one person, not one! has gone through all the glorious things I have designed
specifically for you.
So anytime you feel down or depressed or not worthy of love, or not even worthy of someone else's touch, trust, hope, care, love, mercy, grace, intimacy, anything. Just remember
that God gave you that all first through His Son living a sin free life
but then taking your sins and bearing them on the cross to rise again and to give you life.

To Live It Abundantly!

Love ,
Your Daddy!!

Kim S.

Fortune Cookies...

The other day I was hanging out with a group of friends and picked up a fortune cookie. Now let me tell you something about myself, when reading fortunes for fortune cookies, I don't really take them and believe that they really have anything to do with me or my fortune or whatever the case may be. But in this case, it was quite piculuar(sp?) to receive this one fortune. It said
something along the lines of " You must make changes before receiving your reward."

Now take a peak at my past blogs, I've been seriously changing alot about myself in the dating ascpect(I used to be TERRIFIED of dating), I learned how much I've changed in just one year in being away from my friends & co-workers (I was searching for way to get back), and just recently I've found out that I have some serious trust issues(never knew I had). Can we talk about changes?! The real question is what is the reward?!

I suppose for now I just need to be patient and live my life as if I had never came across that fortune cookie. Like it says in the Bible:

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice...
Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."
Philippians 4:4, 6

My requests right now are that my mind to calmed and my heart be put to rest through God's peace. No stress!

Make Your Requests Know To Him! He's Listening



Kim S.

And You Thought Men Had Commitment Issues...

It wasn't until someone that I had talked a couple times and hardly knew me, could randomly blurt out one kind of pressure filled night of a conversation, "Why don't you trust people?!" That totally caught off by surprise. I didn't even respond to it. How could they, who I hardly talk to & doesn't even know my life story, accuse ME of not trusting people? Well as I've looked at it more and more since that question came to me, I realized maybe I do have some trust issues. Oh sure I can trust that a person will do something but its those really important things that matter to me.

Did you know that in the dictionary there are 12 definitions for the word, commit?

Commit:

1.	to give in trust or charge; consign.

2.	to consign for preservation: to commit ideas to writing; to commit a poem to memory.

3.	to pledge (oneself) to a position on an issue or question; express (one's intention, feeling, etc.): Asked if he was a candidate, he refused to commit himself.

4.	to bind or obligate, as by pledge or assurance; pledge: to commit oneself to a promise; to be committed to a course of action.

5.	to entrust, esp. for safekeeping; commend: to commit one's soul to God.

6.	to do; perform; perpetrate: to commit murder; to commit an error.

7.	to consign to custody: to commit a delinquent to a reformatory.

8.	to place in a mental institution or hospital by or as if by legal authority: He was committed on the certificate of two psychiatrists.

9.	to deliver for treatment, disposal, etc.; relegate: to commit a manuscript to the flames.

10.	to send into a battle: The commander has committed all his troops to the front lines.

11.	Parliamentary Procedure. to refer (a bill or the like) to a committee for consideration.

–verb (used without object)

12.	to pledge or engage oneself: an athlete who commits to the highest standards.

But I think the only commit that really matters to God is when we give Him our whole hearts.

"So that all the peoples of the earth may know that the LORD is God and that there is no other. But your hearts must be fully committed to the LORD our God, to live by his decrees and obey his commands, as at this time.Then the king and all Israel with him offered sacrifices before the LORD. "
1 Kings 8: 60 - 62

He doesn't except for us all to be perfect, but I know that God expects me to live my life to be more Christlike. He will guide me through these trust issues and help me overcome them. I trust in Him.



Kim S.

On The Edge...

Right when I thought I had everything under control, I was hit with something unexpected. That tends to happen to all of us, I would suppose. These past couple weeks have been a doozy of a life for me, and I know they're just the beginning of my life but God has made it so that I have to put my life in His hands. I really worried alot about what others would think or how they would react to certain news, but then when I finally told them, they shrugged it off like there was nothing. I felt like some manic depressive or something because I was stressing over the REALLY small stuff in life when God wanted me to just live for Him. Whoever came up with the phrase "don't sweat the small stuff" was a pure genius but I don't really think anyone listens to it until its way too late and they're already sweating it all. LOL

Seriously, Don't sweat the small stuff in life. That's all God's work, even then He doens't even sweat it. He knows its going to be okay in the end.

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard you hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

~ Philippians 4:6-7

Kim S.

My Ultimate Goals In Life

Times have really changed for me recently and I've thought about my over time goals in life and my more reachable goals that both by God's power, definetly not by mine, are capable. And so I'd like to place here so you know what they are, and for future reference.

Here you go~>

Over Time Goals:

~ Write a Book about my family's life

~ Start a ministry or two for youth

~ Share my life & struggles with at least one person in my path
~ Learn the guitar
~ Experience PURE JOY

Goals for the next 365 days:
~ Pay off at least one of the two school debts
~ Experience PURE JOY
~ Watch every movie stated in both Captivating & Wild at Heart
~ Watch all movies that have a Cinderella theme
~ Memorize Philipians 4
~ Become Transparent

Now I have to admit, some of these goals may look either childish or just plain scratch-your-head-and-think-a-little but they hold meaning to me. I know that without God's guidance and fellowship with other Godly Christians, I can't achieve them. Or should I say I can but they just wouldn't be worth it? I just pray that God will lead me to the right people in my life right now or in the future that will help me achieve them.



Kim S.