Just a few things

I've been hearing some amazing stuff recently about how no matter how hard we try to be great at seeking God's face, reading his word, doing good for his kingdom, and no matter how many times we mess up and feel like failures. God loves us still. When we try to do, do, do and be better, better, better, and tell him that we will be better, that is the thoughts of religion, what the world thinks. And sometimes what life has been like for us in our homes and in the workplace and everywhere else and we try to place that in Christianity/ our relationship with God. But that's not how it is. When you are in a relationship with someone, they don't want anything from but you're best and if you can't, that's okay, they still love you anyway. They see you through your faults and hurts and everything and love you anyway.

I'm also hearing about when you are in a difficult situation or things are getting harder for you, then you are in God's will. When you feel like giving up, throwing in the towel, just not giving your all anymore and letting someone else do it, then you know very well that you are at the exact place that God has for you. That's not an easy thing to hear because it's sooooo much easier to give up and do something easier and let someone else handle the issues that you don't want to face but when you hand them over to God and he take is care of them and it makes life ten bajillion times easier. You will be practically throwing them at him and saying "Take this stuff, this mess, I don't want this anymore. You know how to handle it better than I do."

Okay last thing, that I saw this morning and this is really cool.
Typically when we read Philippians 4:12-13, we think about the tangible things, like food, clothing, money to pay bills, and so on, but have you ever thought about contentment in our spiritual lives. I'm not saying we need to stay stagnent what I'm saying is there are those times where we are soooo desperate to hear from God, so hungry for more of him, it hurts worse than the worst stomach pains, you feel so distant from him. Then there is the other extreme where we are soooo full of Christ's love and joy and grace that all we can do is just jump up and down, sing shouts of praise, pour love to others, whatever the Spirit leads. In either one of those times, we are to be content in knowing that God is with us and never leave us nor forsake us. He will strengthen us and guard us from the evil one. So we have NOTHING to fear.
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ATTENTION ALL PASTORS/SPEAKERS/WRITERS!!

ATTENTION ALL PASTORS, SPEAKERS, & WRITERS !!

I have some questions for you. Being a young woman wanting to do what you do, what is best step in that direction? I have no job presently due to health issues. I went to college for one year right out high school back in 2003, and am still dealing with student loan. I have been since 2003 I have volunteered in every capacity known to man pretty much. I journal like crazy. I have struggled with reading the Bible all my life, up until last year I hardly read through it even though I have gone to church my entire life. I had a bad view of the Bible from past experiences. But thankfully God has changed that. I know that there is something worth getting out of the Word and it's not just the paper. It's what God says.

My questions are to figure out why is it so hard to talk to you? There are so many of you out there that I admire. I see what you do, I read what you write, and I hear what you say. I know that alot of people may like all those things but do you ever miss the time when you could just talk to someone about whatever? When you could have a good long conversation with someone?
I think every pastor, speaker, writer, and person deals with this on some level. We are in a rush. We have family obligations to attend to. We have dinner to take care of. Friends to hang out with. Appointments to go to. Whatever it may be.

But the big question is: Do we stop and breath and take in? Talk to/listen to the people that need to be heard? Do we spend time with our family instead of in the office or out in the bar or where we know we shouldn't be? Most importantly, do we spend time with God and let Him speak to us?
Those are challenging questions for everyone, not just for those in the title. We all could learn something for that.

KAS

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Meeting the Surgeon Yet Praying for the World

Here I am in the corner of one of the student buildings at MUSC, just a few hours away from meeting with the doctor that will be doing the surgery and the only thing is on my mind is what is going on in the world.

• My mom mentioned to me awhile ago how the doctor that will be on rounds when I'm in the hospital, is an atheist. It breaks my heart and makes me wonder what in the world will happen when he sees all the people that come and visit me, (hopefully alot), and are praying for me. I hope he sees faith in me, he see God's light in me, and God's love in me.
• I'm sitting in a student building beginning to have students wander in and the thing that make me think, is there a group/club like FCA or InterVaristy where students can come together and learn about Christ, step away from the stress of studies and school and just fellowship?
• There are doctors that are coming onto shift right now that going to have to say to families that their loved ones are not going to live through the rest of the day, they are going to be a vegetable the rest of their lives, they are going to have to give their organs to others to help them to live or not, or better tell families that they have baby boy or girl or they have multiples or for some its a relief to not be pregnant. There are doctors telling patients that they are going to live or are cured. I could go on.
• There are people in Haiti, Chili, New Orleans, India, Rwanda, China, and all over the world that are still suffering from the after effects of all the natural disasters, and the genocides and wars that they couldn't control.
• There are young women in the world that are being placed into prostitution by their OWN parents for money.
• There are young men in the world that are being handed a machine gun/machete and taught how to fight/kill.
• There are people everyday that go hungry, that don't have shoes, that only have one set of clothes, don't get to bathe and don't hear about GOD'S LOVE.

AND THESE ARE JUST A FEW.

I am just one person. I hate to focus on myself. What do you see that makes you hurt when you think about it?

KIM

Tithing

Last night in hope group someone brought up tithing and how if you don't bring it with a loving heart it like bringing it with a grumbling heart. I started to wonder when that was said, since I have been approved of disability and have been receiving money, have I been giving to God with a grumbling heart? Like a kid who has an extra piece of candy and their parent is with them and they see a child that wants a piece and may not get any candy unlike that other kid. Am I being a grumbly child that is saying "Mine, this is mine! You can't have!" or am I looking up at God "Do I have to?" and they sheepishly give the piece of candy to the kid. But there is another perspective of tithing. Am I being one of those kids thats so willing to just give not even having to be told? They share their toys, they share their food, they share their friends, they share their money, whatever they share. They just do.

What am I? What are you?

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Who Are You?

I am A Child of The Most High God!
I am dearly and cherishly
I am masterpiece made by The Ultimate Artist.
I have torn and tattered, ripped apart, beaten and battered
but The Ultimate Restorer of Life has rescued me for destruction.
He taken placed me above all earthly possessions and taken time
to mend my broken heart, to heal my hurts and to turn me into a NEW CREATION.
I am Forever in being changed by Him.

I am not what I do but who He has made me to become.

Who are you?
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Starting All Over

So... I took kind of break from this blog and focused on just not publishing what I wrote, mostly because I had alot that needed to be let out and I don't anyone should read it except me and God. I focused on myself and my relationship with God and trying to get my life in line with God. No I don't think I'm perfect but I know I'm getting there.

Anyways, since then one question that has been roaming around in my mind about this blog is what I want to do with it. I mean this a way of connecting with different people all over the globe. If I could say one thing to people all over the globe, what would I say?

- I would say don't judge people who are/have lesser than you. I know we all too quickly do that.


If you could say one thing to people all over the globe, what would you say?

KAS
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Do we want to live like an ADD child or Focused adult?

At the church I go to, I see on a pretty regular basis new people coming in receiving God's word, becoming baptised and then alot great things changing in their life. Where before they have had a hard time paying their bills, finding a job, putting food on the table, whatever the case maybe, God supplies their needs because they started to come church, they received His Word, they accepted him in their hearts. They are diligent for a good period of time, coming to church on Sundays and if they were coming to morning devotions, sticking to it, and making a point to come to Hope groups (small groups), but then as they are doing well with their jobs and God give them more and blesses them and take them out of difficult situations, I've seen many fall in the trap of the devil. Where all of us are easily swayed.

It seems as though when I watch them, I think "Oh I could never do that. I've made bad decisions before I won't make the same ones that take me away from God. I couldn't risk losing the one who loves me. " Well I think its easier to follow God when you have nothing, then when you have been given what you need or maybe I should what you think you need. We are soo easily entangled by the world and by what it has to offer us. When a new thing/a new change is thrown our way, its easy to get wrapped up in that and not remember what is constant in our life. I think when we focus on the things that are thrown at us and not the things that are constant, we lose a part of ourselves in the process. In trying to figuring out how to live with those things, we forget about what is most important, GOD.

God is our ever constant. He keeps us on the straight and narrow path.

Passion

Every Tuesday and Thursday I go downtown and help out at a church in the inner-city of Charleston. The first thing we do is an hour of devotional where we are reading the Bible in a year and spend about 45 min praying for the city, state, country, the church , whatever God lays on our hearts. Then the last 15 mins or so we discuss what God brought to us in the passages that we read for the day.

Well currently we are in the area of Ezekiel 23, Isaiah 51, & Philipians 3. While I was reading Ezekiel, specifically 16 & 17, something came out to me.

Chapter 16 verses 49-58 says:
" 'Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen. Samaria did not commit half the sins you did. You have done more detestable things than they, and have made your sisters seem righteous by all these things you have done. Bear your disgrace, for you have furnished some justification for your sisters. Because your sins were more vile than theirs, they appear more righteous than you. So then, be ashamed and bear your disgrace, for you have made your sisters appear righteous.
" 'However, I will restore the fortunes of Sodom and her daughters and of Samaria and her daughters, and your fortunes along with them, so that you may bear your disgrace and be ashamed of all you have done in giving them comfort. And your sisters, Sodom with her daughters and Samaria with her daughters, will return to what they were before; and you and your daughters will return to what you were before. You would not even mention your sister Sodom in the day of your pride, before your wickedness was uncovered. Even so, you are now scorned by the daughters of Edom and all her neighbors and the daughters of the Philistines—all those around you who despise you. You will bear the consequences of your lewdness and your detestable practices, declares the LORD."

Here Israel, God's chosen people, were more wicked, detestable in God's eyes than Sodom (the destroyed land) and Samaria (the land where people live that Jews refuse to touch them). God said in this passage that He was going to destroy all three but the disgrace was going to be on Israel. The guilt, the shame. Sodom didn't know what they were doing was wrong. Samaria had yet to learn. Israel had known from the start.

What am I saying in this? Sometimes we look at someone else think we are better than them, just because they may or may not be a believer or may be starting they're relationship with Christ. That doesn't mean we are better or they are worst/lower on the totem pole. It just means they have some things to learn just like we do. WE ALL DO!

This life is not about being better than everyone else. It's about learning more about Christ and applying it to our everyday lives. Making mistakes is normal. If we fall, then we just ask God for forgiveness and He'll pick us up.

Remember to run for God passionately, and to not look at everyone else like a judging contest but equally. Mistakes are inevitable, learning is growing.

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8-8-2009

Lord Jesus,
Teach me to not be anxious about what is going in my life and what has gone on in the past few months. To trust in everything that you place in my life. In every situation. You have a reason for it all. You have a reason for the desires that are placed deep in me to share what has gone on in my life and currently to perfect strangers and to show that no matter what the circumstances you are ALWAYS there to love us and be our shoulder to cry on in mourning, to be our support in health situations. No one else on this great earth can understand, can wrap their minds around what we are going through but you. You have been there from the beginning of creation, from when our life stories were written, you knew when we were going to fall, when we were going to hear your name for the first, you knew when every little moment that no one thinks about was going to happen. You were there. You carry us during the hard times, and you laugh with us on the wonderful days. You inspire us. You are everything.

Amen

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Never Put God in A Box

"You have the humble, but bring low those whose eyes are haughty. You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help, I can advance against a troop; with my God, I can scale a wall. As for God, his was is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains me for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze." Psalm 18: 27-34

"I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4: 13

Psalm 18:29 really jumped out at me this morning. "With Your help, I can advance against a troop; with my God, I can scale a wall."

When King David said this I don't think he just meant this literally, I think he also meant with God's help/might we can take on anything, whether it may be a 10ft wall or a 10,ooo army of demons, which we, in the spiritual realm, deal with every day, moment by moment. We need to take a step back and realize how mighty of a God we really serve and then say to him, I am ready for whatever you have in store for me. He is HUGE!! He is not someone that you just place in a little box on your mantle or in your garage and keep for safe keeping, especially in these current times. He wants to be involved your life, in our lives everyday. With God at our sides, we can take on the world.

Look at what Moses did with the Israelites when he delivered them from capitivity, Moses had been hesistant about doing the job in the first place because he had a problem wiht speech but God wanted him. He said in Exodus 4:11 - 12 "The Lord said to him, 'Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." And he went on to take them out of Egypt and through the Red Sea.

Don't forget about Jesus and his defeating death so we may live?! That's BIGGER THAN BIG.

And Daniel and the Lions Den.

There are examples all throughout the Bible about HOW BIG GOD is. We will never know how Great God's power truly is until we meet him.

If you don't Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, please message me.

Extra Verse: Ephesians 3:20-21

GOD IS.....

You are....
MAJESTIC
GLORIOUS
WONDERFUL
HOLY
BEAUTIFUL
ALL IN ONE
PRINCE OF PEACE
LARGER THAN LIFE
HOLDING THE WORLD IN YOUR HANDS
ALWAYS AROUND ME
MY COUNSELER
MY SHEPHERD
THE MORNING STAR
THE SHOULDER I CAN LEAN ON
MY SURRENDER
MY LIFE GIVER
MY SACRIFICER
MY PAYMENT
THERE ARE NO LOANS, NO DEFERMENTS, NO FOREBARNCES, NO FORECLOSURES, NO BANKCRUPTIES.
YOU HAVE TAKEN CARE OF US FOR LIFE.
YOU ARE MY ULTIMATE DADDY, MY ULTIMATE HUSBAND, MY ULTIMATE MOTHER, MY ULTIMATE BEST FRIEND, MY ULTIMATE EVERYTHING.

YOU ARE THE WAVES OF MY LIFE
EVER CONSTANT
THERE ARE SEASONS
YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO BE SILENT
BUT ALWAYS GOING AND BRINGING IN SURPRISES
THEN THERE ARE SEASONS
YOU'VE WRITTEN TO BE MIGHTY
AND TO MAKE ME FALL ON MY KNEES AND LOVE YOU MORE

IN WHATEVER YOU DO
I LEARN SOMETHING
I OBTAIN SOMETHING TO TAKE ON MY JOURNEY THAT YOU HAVE CALLED LIFE

I CAN'T WAIT TO LEARN MORE!!

GOD IS MY AUTHOR.
GOD IS MY POET...
GOD IS MY MUSICIAN.
GOD IS MY TEACHER.
GOD IS MY EVERYTHING


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Why, Lord?

Lord,
why am I acting the way that I am?
Why do I say the things that I do?
why don't I stop myself from being so mean So hurtful?
Why?
Why do I watch the things that I do?
Why do allow myself to be a part of hurtful things?
Why do I laugh when a friend is made fun of?
Why do I make fun of a brother or sister when they fall?
Why?
Why do I not go help them?
Why do I not love them and lift them up?
Why do I not stand against this hurt this pain?
Why do I not say "No More!"?
Why?

Why, Lord?

We make reasons saying that you have a humor, which you do, but even more importantly you have a heart. When we hurt, you hurt. When we break, you break. When we sin, you cry. When we laugh, you laugh. When we smile, you smile gloriously.

Lord, Why?

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For the past few months, I have been struggling with a search for happiness. Deep inside there has been a fight for me, for my life and for my heart. I can tell. Based on where things are going, I've been thinking and saying "oh if only I had this, then things would be better," "if only, I hadn't done that," "if only..." "if only..." It could go on forever. The world is like this, you can constantly be around people who are casually saying, I wish I had what this other person had. Or we also look other people think in our minds and dream of what it would be like if we had whatever they had, whether it be a car, a relationship, a house, a family, a degree or a deeper relationship with Christ. This is where I think I have finally learned what true contentment is. True contentment is being joyful in what you have and praising God during those storms of life.
Being content that you have a family that gets on your nerves and you get them to love, being content that you have friends to talk to and hang out with and can randomly walk into their house at any given time and they'll be there for you, even if they pick on you constantly, being content that you have a job that gives you experience that you can take to the next one and the next and the next, even when it is temporary. There are so many things that we want to change, that we want make better because we are searching for the perfect happiness. But when we become content in the things and people that God has given us then there's happiness that in it own way right.

It like what Apostle Paul said in Phillipians 4:10-13

"I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Kim

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Love Language

My love language I know has always been acts of kindness. I love to help people. Sometimes it can be a weakness for me. I love to show people how much I care about them just through what I do, not just by what I say( which is also important). I know without doing things for others, I am not who God made me to be. I feel like when I give or doing to others, I'm helping the One who helped me, and I think I need to look at it like that all the time. It's not like I'm helping some poor person on the street or the old lady with her groceries, I'm helping Jesus. I will tell you I've forgotten that. I think we all forget that sometimes when we get in the mode of helping others. We just think we are doing something good, but there is something so much more than that.
This passage comes to me about what I just said in

Matthew 25: 34-40
"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

Kim

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The Week of Trial

Amidst the craziness of this week, I am ready. Ready for today. Ready for relaxation. Ready for time away from the stress of the thought of getting of a job. Ready for a change of scenery. Ready for God's words of wisdom for my life. Ready for Him.
There is not one day this week where I did not get up before 8 am and was not continuously unsure about applying for a job. Not just because my skills but also because I wasn't sure if this was where God wanted me. But it seemed every time I kept getting unsure something came up that made it seem less unsure and more seemingly possible that God really wants me there. I wasn't sure I would do well on the test for some computer applications but I did so much better than I thought. I wasn't sure how I would get there during the two weeks when my mom is at the Mt. Pleasant location but then we found out that a Carta bus picks up and drops off people right from the hospital. I wasn't sure how my previous employer would speak of me when the temp agency called but when I sat there and heard a good response, I felt confident in myself and in my actions and my choices. I have nothing to be afraid of.
All this stress I've gone through, all this pressure, all this junk, all this whatever you want to call it was the devil trying to get me to bail out and say I don't want to do it. I don't think I can measure up to anyone's standards. It was all a mind trick from him.
Once I noticed that the person from the temp agency thought I was just coming for help trying to find a job and not the one job I had my eye on, I had to say something. It was God's power, strength that gave me the courage to say it, to speak up and say what was needed to be said.
And from that time, that moment, I have been pretty confident that God is going to use me in a big way.

Praise Jesus!
Kim

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Burdens & Yokes

God, why did you give me this burden to take?I don't feel that strong. I don't feel like I can handle it on my own.I can't do this without you God. It hurts so much more everyday.I'm sometimes ready to give up. Go my own way. But then I look back to how far I've gotten with you. And I can't let go.Not now. It's not just my own life. Its even more the people that I love and their burdens. Their hurts. I can't not pray for them. They are people that are always there for me in good times and bad times. I'm sometimes just waiting for them to leave. For them to say "I don't want to see your face anymore." "You annoy me." But now everytime I see them now they say the complete opposite "I love you" "You're so sincere" "I miss you" "You'll always be beautiful no matter what"It weirds me out but its nice. It's nice to hear words of love from people that you love and I love too.
Thank you God. I love you!
Kim
Matthew 11: 28 - 30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

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Mary & Martha

Mary & Martha
I'm learning everyday now how to be more of Mary and not so much of a Martha. Its difficult you see. All I want to do is one of the two either work myself to the bone and barely holding on to the purpose of which it may be, or stay in the now present time be with my Lord wherever I go, whatever I do, whoever I talk to, being still in His presence, remembering I am His and He is mine. Sometimes I get the two confused, Mary and Martha. I may think I am doing somethin extravagent out of love when all the person wants is my time with them, my listening ears. I still have a job to do and Christ knows that but all He wants is my time. My heart. My love. MY surrendering to Him.

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Untitled

untitled
I'm scared.
I'm scared of walking forward.
And I'm sure as heck scared of walking backward.
But I'm even more scared of staying right where I am.

I'm scared.
I'm scared of letting go.
And I'm scared of pulling back.
But I'm even more scared of holding on forever.
I don't know where to go.
I don't know what to do.

All I see is Jesus fighting the way.
I sometimes sit unsure as why.
Why He still wants me here.
Is my purpose really just to help my family or is there something more?
What about when they get older?
I know I will want to get away on my own.

What is my purpose?
Lord, What is my purpose?
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Pursuing life & Love

This is a girl blog so guys if you are reading, take heed some worthy advice or just don't read.
I tend to be one of those girls that goes out of her way to get to know a guy and find out what he likes and somehow along the way forgets who she is, who God really made her to be, because she's maybe invested too much time in a guy that may not even be interested or worst completely oblivious of the whole situation. Well I'm sure I'm not the only girl that's like that. It stinks being hurt by each one of those experinces, but I've learned alot from each one of them. I've learned to HOLD ON TIGHTLY to who God made me. I may go astray a little each time, but deep inside I know in my heart who I am and who God has made me to be. A woman with a will to do something big for Him. A woman who cares those who are hurting in ever so many different ways. A woman with a spirit if let free to roam could change the world, one person at a time. A woman is continuously working on herself and asking for God's guidance.
I just pray I don't have to be stuck in this going out there pursuing the guy when he should be pursuing me. That's every girls hope and prayer. Take that to the bank, guys. For now I'm just going to pursue God's will for my life, and be completely satisfied in His love.
Kim
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You Matter To GOD!!!

You Matter To God!

Insert name, you matter to God.
My one of my church pastor's says that alot in his messages and I will admit I never understood what it meant when he said that. When I initially heard that phrase, I was thinking, "Oh only if I fulfill my purpose in life and do what God calls me to do and don't make any mistakes and work to live a perfect life for God, spreading His word and love out there." But then I thought there's got to be more to this phrase "You matter to God."
I began to think well there was those two criminals on the hill with Jesus when He was crucified. One said, "So you're the Messiah, are you? Prove it by saving yourself - and us, to, while you're at it!"But the other criminal protested, "Don't you fear God even when you are dying? We deserve to die for our eveil deeds, but this man hasn't done anything wrong." Then he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom." And Jesus replied, "I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise." (Luke 23:39-43)
With that, I looked at how the criminal who protested, who feared God and asked Jesus to remember him, he didn't do anything big he didn't go into the world and spread God's word, he didn't do alot, but he did believe that Jesus Christ was the Messiah and feared God in a way that mattered to Him.
Now this doesn't say that all the evil people in the bible or in the world don't matter to God. But that's a whole nother blog Right now I am focusing on the fact that we matter to God.
I thought about that passage and then I thought well what does it mean to matter to someone. What does it mean to matter to God? I thought about my family. I don't necessarily have to do anything for them, I just know that I matter to them and they love me. I hadn't thought about that in a long time. I was in the kitchen getting dinner ready for the family and I started tearing up. My sister noticed it. I didn't want to go into big depth about it. But I thought it would definitely be a great blog.
With all this said, I finally understand what it means to matter to someone and even more importantly God.
I don't have to do anything, I just matter, I am important, I am loved, I am cared for. He is always with me. He will leave the rest of the group just to find me, the that strayed.
MMMMM What amazing thoughts!!!
Go God!!
Kim S.

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