Hello: My Name is Kim....

Just a few things

2010-12-22T08:39:00.000-08:00

I've been hearing some amazing stuff recently about how no matter how hard we try to be great at seeking God's face, reading his word, doing good for his kingdom, and no matter how many times we mess up and feel like failures. God loves us still. When we try to do, do, do and be better, better, better, and tell him that we will be better, that is the thoughts of religion, what the world thinks. And sometimes what life has been like for us in our homes and in the workplace and everywhere else and we try to place that in Christianity/ our relationship with God. But that's not how it is. When you are in a relationship with someone, they don't want anything from but you're best and if you can't, that's okay, they still love you anyway. They see you through your faults and hurts and everything and love you anyway.

I'm also hearing about when you are in a difficult situation or things are getting harder for you, then you are in God's will. When you feel like giving up, throwing in the towel, just not giving your all anymore and letting someone else do it, then you know very well that you are at the exact place that God has for you. That's not an easy thing to hear because it's sooooo much easier to give up and do something easier and let someone else handle the issues that you don't want to face but when you hand them over to God and he take is care of them and it makes life ten bajillion times easier. You will be practically throwing them at him and saying "Take this stuff, this mess, I don't want this anymore. You know how to handle it better than I do."

Okay last thing, that I saw this morning and this is really cool.
Typically when we read Philippians 4:12-13, we think about the tangible things, like food, clothing, money to pay bills, and so on, but have you ever thought about contentment in our spiritual lives. I'm not saying we need to stay stagnent what I'm saying is there are those times where we are soooo desperate to hear from God, so hungry for more of him, it hurts worse than the worst stomach pains, you feel so distant from him. Then there is the other extreme where we are soooo full of Christ's love and joy and grace that all we can do is just jump up and down, sing shouts of praise, pour love to others, whatever the Spirit leads. In either one of those times, we are to be content in knowing that God is with us and never leave us nor forsake us. He will strengthen us and guard us from the evil one. So we have NOTHING to fear.
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ATTENTION ALL PASTORS/SPEAKERS/WRITERS!!

2010-10-24T19:10:00.000-07:00

ATTENTION ALL PASTORS, SPEAKERS, & WRITERS !!

I have some questions for you. Being a young woman wanting to do what you do, what is best step in that direction? I have no job presently due to health issues. I went to college for one year right out high school back in 2003, and am still dealing with student loan. I have been since 2003 I have volunteered in every capacity known to man pretty much. I journal like crazy. I have struggled with reading the Bible all my life, up until last year I hardly read through it even though I have gone to church my entire life. I had a bad view of the Bible from past experiences. But thankfully God has changed that. I know that there is something worth getting out of the Word and it's not just the paper. It's what God says.

My questions are to figure out why is it so hard to talk to you? There are so many of you out there that I admire. I see what you do, I read what you write, and I hear what you say. I know that alot of people may like all those things but do you ever miss the time when you could just talk to someone about whatever? When you could have a good long conversation with someone?
I think every pastor, speaker, writer, and person deals with this on some level. We are in a rush. We have family obligations to attend to. We have dinner to take care of. Friends to hang out with. Appointments to go to. Whatever it may be.

But the big question is: Do we stop and breath and take in? Talk to/listen to the people that need to be heard? Do we spend time with our family instead of in the office or out in the bar or where we know we shouldn't be? Most importantly, do we spend time with God and let Him speak to us?
Those are challenging questions for everyone, not just for those in the title. We all could learn something for that.

KAS

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Meeting the Surgeon Yet Praying for the World

2010-08-16T05:45:00.000-07:00

Here I am in the corner of one of the student buildings at MUSC, just a few hours away from meeting with the doctor that will be doing the surgery and the only thing is on my mind is what is going on in the world.

My mom mentioned to me awhile ago how the doctor that will be on rounds when I'm in the hospital, is an atheist. It breaks my heart and makes me wonder what in the world will happen when he sees all the people that come and visit me, (hopefully alot), and are praying for me. I hope he sees faith in me, he see God's light in me, and God's love in me.
I'm sitting in a student building beginning to have students wander in and the thing that make me think, is there a group/club like FCA or InterVaristy where students can come together and learn about Christ, step away from the stress of studies and school and just fellowship?
There are doctors that are coming onto shift right now that going to have to say to families that their loved ones are not going to live through the rest of the day, they are going to be a vegetable the rest of their lives, they are going to have to give their organs to others to help them to live or not, or better tell families that they have baby boy or girl or they have multiples or for some its a relief to not be pregnant. There are doctors telling patients that they are going to live or are cured. I could go on.
There are people in Haiti, Chili, New Orleans, India, Rwanda, China, and all over the world that are still suffering from the after effects of all the natural disasters, and the genocides and wars that they couldn't control.
There are young women in the world that are being placed into prostitution by their OWN parents for money.
There are young men in the world that are being handed a machine gun/machete and taught how to fight/kill.
There are people everyday that go hungry, that don't have shoes, that only have one set of clothes, don't get to bathe and don't hear about GOD'S LOVE.

AND THESE ARE JUST A FEW.

I am just one person. I hate to focus on myself. What do you see that makes you hurt when you think about it?

KIM

Tithing

2010-06-04T06:49:00.000-07:00

Last night in hope group someone brought up tithing and how if you don't bring it with a loving heart it like bringing it with a grumbling heart. I started to wonder when that was said, since I have been approved of disability and have been receiving money, have I been giving to God with a grumbling heart? Like a kid who has an extra piece of candy and their parent is with them and they see a child that wants a piece and may not get any candy unlike that other kid. Am I being a grumbly child that is saying "Mine, this is mine! You can't have!" or am I looking up at God "Do I have to?" and they sheepishly give the piece of candy to the kid. But there is another perspective of tithing. Am I being one of those kids thats so willing to just give not even having to be told? They share their toys, they share their food, they share their friends, they share their money, whatever they share. They just do.

What am I? What are you?

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Who Are You?

2010-05-16T19:32:00.000-07:00

I am A Child of The Most High God!
I am dearly and cherishly
I am masterpiece made by The Ultimate Artist.
I have torn and tattered, ripped apart, beaten and battered
but The Ultimate Restorer of Life has rescued me for destruction.
He taken placed me above all earthly possessions and taken time
to mend my broken heart, to heal my hurts and to turn me into a NEW CREATION.
I am Forever in being changed by Him.

I am not what I do but who He has made me to become.

Who are you?
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Starting All Over

2010-05-14T16:54:00.000-07:00

So... I took kind of break from this blog and focused on just not publishing what I wrote, mostly because I had alot that needed to be let out and I don't anyone should read it except me and God. I focused on myself and my relationship with God and trying to get my life in line with God. No I don't think I'm perfect but I know I'm getting there.

Anyways, since then one question that has been roaming around in my mind about this blog is what I want to do with it. I mean this a way of connecting with different people all over the globe. If I could say one thing to people all over the globe, what would I say?

- I would say don't judge people who are/have lesser than you. I know we all too quickly do that.

If you could say one thing to people all over the globe, what would you say?

KAS
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Do we want to live like an ADD child or Focused adult?

2010-05-14T11:29:00.000-07:00

At the church I go to, I see on a pretty regular basis new people coming in receiving God's word, becoming baptised and then alot great things changing in their life. Where before they have had a hard time paying their bills, finding a job, putting food on the table, whatever the case maybe, God supplies their needs because they started to come church, they received His Word, they accepted him in their hearts. They are diligent for a good period of time, coming to church on Sundays and if they were coming to morning devotions, sticking to it, and making a point to come to Hope groups (small groups), but then as they are doing well with their jobs and God give them more and blesses them and take them out of difficult situations, I've seen many fall in the trap of the devil. Where all of us are easily swayed.

It seems as though when I watch them, I think "Oh I could never do that. I've made bad decisions before I won't make the same ones that take me away from God. I couldn't risk losing the one who loves me. " Well I think its easier to follow God when you have nothing, then when you have been given what you need or maybe I should what you think you need. We are soo easily entangled by the world and by what it has to offer us. When a new thing/a new change is thrown our way, its easy to get wrapped up in that and not remember what is constant in our life. I think when we focus on the things that are thrown at us and not the things that are constant, we lose a part of ourselves in the process. In trying to figuring out how to live with those things, we forget about what is most important, GOD.

God is our ever constant. He keeps us on the straight and narrow path.

Passion

2009-12-16T09:42:00.000-08:00

Every Tuesday and Thursday I go downtown and help out at a church in the inner-city of Charleston. The first thing we do is an hour of devotional where we are reading the Bible in a year and spend about 45 min praying for the city, state, country, the church , whatever God lays on our hearts. Then the last 15 mins or so we discuss what God brought to us in the passages that we read for the day.

Well currently we are in the area of Ezekiel 23, Isaiah 51, & Philipians 3. While I was reading Ezekiel, specifically 16 & 17, something came out to me.

Chapter 16 verses 49-58 says:
" 'Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen. Samaria did not commit half the sins you did. You have done more detestable things than they, and have made your sisters seem righteous by all these things you have done. Bear your disgrace, for you have furnished some justification for your sisters. Because your sins were more vile than theirs, they appear more righteous than you. So then, be ashamed and bear your disgrace, for you have made your sisters appear righteous.
" 'However, I will restore the fortunes of Sodom and her daughters and of Samaria and her daughters, and your fortunes along with them, so that you may bear your disgrace and be ashamed of all you have done in giving them comfort. And your sisters, Sodom with her daughters and Samaria with her daughters, will return to what they were before; and you and your daughters will return to what you were before. You would not even mention your sister Sodom in the day of your pride, before your wickedness was uncovered. Even so, you are now scorned by the daughters of Edom and all her neighbors and the daughters of the Philistines—all those around you who despise you. You will bear the consequences of your lewdness and your detestable practices, declares the LORD."

Here Israel, God's chosen people, were more wicked, detestable in God's eyes than Sodom (the destroyed land) and Samaria (the land where people live that Jews refuse to touch them). God said in this passage that He was going to destroy all three but the disgrace was going to be on Israel. The guilt, the shame. Sodom didn't know what they were doing was wrong. Samaria had yet to learn. Israel had known from the start.

What am I saying in this? Sometimes we look at someone else think we are better than them, just because they may or may not be a believer or may be starting they're relationship with Christ. That doesn't mean we are better or they are worst/lower on the totem pole. It just means they have some things to learn just like we do. WE ALL DO!

This life is not about being better than everyone else. It's about learning more about Christ and applying it to our everyday lives. Making mistakes is normal. If we fall, then we just ask God for forgiveness and He'll pick us up.

Remember to run for God passionately, and to not look at everyone else like a judging contest but equally. Mistakes are inevitable, learning is growing.

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8-8-2009

2009-08-08T18:36:00.001-07:00

Lord Jesus,
Teach me to not be anxious about what is going in my life and what has gone on in the past few months. To trust in everything that you place in my life. In every situation. You have a reason for it all. You have a reason for the desires that are placed deep in me to share what has gone on in my life and currently to perfect strangers and to show that no matter what the circumstances you are ALWAYS there to love us and be our shoulder to cry on in mourning, to be our support in health situations. No one else on this great earth can understand, can wrap their minds around what we are going through but you. You have been there from the beginning of creation, from when our life stories were written, you knew when we were going to fall, when we were going to hear your name for the first, you knew when every little moment that no one thinks about was going to happen. You were there. You carry us during the hard times, and you laugh with us on the wonderful days. You inspire us. You are everything.

Amen

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Never Put God in A Box

2009-06-08T06:48:00.000-07:00

"You have the humble, but bring low those whose eyes are haughty. You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help, I can advance against a troop; with my God, I can scale a wall. As for God, his was is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains me for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze." Psalm 18: 27-34

"I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4: 13

Psalm 18:29 really jumped out at me this morning. "With Your help, I can advance against a troop; with my God, I can scale a wall."

When King David said this I don't think he just meant this literally, I think he also meant with God's help/might we can take on anything, whether it may be a 10ft wall or a 10,ooo army of demons, which we, in the spiritual realm, deal with every day, moment by moment. We need to take a step back and realize how mighty of a God we really serve and then say to him, I am ready for whatever you have in store for me. He is HUGE!! He is not someone that you just place in a little box on your mantle or in your garage and keep for safe keeping, especially in these current times. He wants to be involved your life, in our lives everyday. With God at our sides, we can take on the world.

Look at what Moses did with the Israelites when he delivered them from capitivity, Moses had been hesistant about doing the job in the first place because he had a problem wiht speech but God wanted him. He said in Exodus 4:11 - 12 "The Lord said to him, 'Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." And he went on to take them out of Egypt and through the Red Sea.

Don't forget about Jesus and his defeating death so we may live?! That's BIGGER THAN BIG.

And Daniel and the Lions Den.

There are examples all throughout the Bible about HOW BIG GOD is. We will never know how Great God's power truly is until we meet him.

If you don't Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, please message me.

Extra Verse: Ephesians 3:20-21

GOD IS.....

2009-06-03T08:41:00.001-07:00

You are....
MAJESTIC
GLORIOUS
WONDERFUL
HOLY
BEAUTIFUL
ALL IN ONE
PRINCE OF PEACE
LARGER THAN LIFE
HOLDING THE WORLD IN YOUR HANDS
ALWAYS AROUND ME
MY COUNSELER
MY SHEPHERD
THE MORNING STAR
THE SHOULDER I CAN LEAN ON
MY SURRENDER
MY LIFE GIVER
MY SACRIFICER
MY PAYMENT
THERE ARE NO LOANS, NO DEFERMENTS, NO FOREBARNCES, NO FORECLOSURES, NO BANKCRUPTIES.
YOU HAVE TAKEN CARE OF US FOR LIFE.
YOU ARE MY ULTIMATE DADDY, MY ULTIMATE HUSBAND, MY ULTIMATE MOTHER, MY ULTIMATE BEST FRIEND, MY ULTIMATE EVERYTHING.

YOU ARE THE WAVES OF MY LIFE
EVER CONSTANT
THERE ARE SEASONS
YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO BE SILENT
BUT ALWAYS GOING AND BRINGING IN SURPRISES
THEN THERE ARE SEASONS
YOU'VE WRITTEN TO BE MIGHTY
AND TO MAKE ME FALL ON MY KNEES AND LOVE YOU MORE

IN WHATEVER YOU DO
I LEARN SOMETHING
I OBTAIN SOMETHING TO TAKE ON MY JOURNEY THAT YOU HAVE CALLED LIFE

I CAN'T WAIT TO LEARN MORE!!

GOD IS MY AUTHOR.
GOD IS MY POET...
GOD IS MY MUSICIAN.
GOD IS MY TEACHER.
GOD IS MY EVERYTHING

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Why, Lord?

2008-12-04T17:37:00.000-08:00

Lord,
why am I acting the way that I am?
Why do I say the things that I do?
why don't I stop myself from being so mean So hurtful?
Why?
Why do I watch the things that I do?
Why do allow myself to be a part of hurtful things?
Why do I laugh when a friend is made fun of?
Why do I make fun of a brother or sister when they fall?
Why?
Why do I not go help them?
Why do I not love them and lift them up?
Why do I not stand against this hurt this pain?
Why do I not say "No More!"?
Why?

Why, Lord?

We make reasons saying that you have a humor, which you do, but even more importantly you have a heart. When we hurt, you hurt. When we break, you break. When we sin, you cry. When we laugh, you laugh. When we smile, you smile gloriously.

Lord, Why?

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2008-08-18T04:09:00.000-07:00

For the past few months, I have been struggling with a search for happiness. Deep inside there has been a fight for me, for my life and for my heart. I can tell. Based on where things are going, I've been thinking and saying "oh if only I had this, then things would be better," "if only, I hadn't done that," "if only..." "if only..." It could go on forever. The world is like this, you can constantly be around people who are casually saying, I wish I had what this other person had. Or we also look other people think in our minds and dream of what it would be like if we had whatever they had, whether it be a car, a relationship, a house, a family, a degree or a deeper relationship with Christ. This is where I think I have finally learned what true contentment is. True contentment is being joyful in what you have and praising God during those storms of life.
Being content that you have a family that gets on your nerves and you get them to love, being content that you have friends to talk to and hang out with and can randomly walk into their house at any given time and they'll be there for you, even if they pick on you constantly, being content that you have a job that gives you experience that you can take to the next one and the next and the next, even when it is temporary. There are so many things that we want to change, that we want make better because we are searching for the perfect happiness. But when we become content in the things and people that God has given us then there's happiness that in it own way right.

It like what Apostle Paul said in Phillipians 4:10-13

"I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Kim

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Love Language

2008-05-09T07:29:00.000-07:00

My love language I know has always been acts of kindness. I love to help people. Sometimes it can be a weakness for me. I love to show people how much I care about them just through what I do, not just by what I say( which is also important). I know without doing things for others, I am not who God made me to be. I feel like when I give or doing to others, I'm helping the One who helped me, and I think I need to look at it like that all the time. It's not like I'm helping some poor person on the street or the old lady with her groceries, I'm helping Jesus. I will tell you I've forgotten that. I think we all forget that sometimes when we get in the mode of helping others. We just think we are doing something good, but there is something so much more than that.
This passage comes to me about what I just said in

Matthew 25: 34-40
"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

Kim

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The Week of Trial

2008-05-02T07:14:00.000-07:00

Amidst the craziness of this week, I am ready. Ready for today. Ready for relaxation. Ready for time away from the stress of the thought of getting of a job. Ready for a change of scenery. Ready for God's words of wisdom for my life. Ready for Him.
There is not one day this week where I did not get up before 8 am and was not continuously unsure about applying for a job. Not just because my skills but also because I wasn't sure if this was where God wanted me. But it seemed every time I kept getting unsure something came up that made it seem less unsure and more seemingly possible that God really wants me there. I wasn't sure I would do well on the test for some computer applications but I did so much better than I thought. I wasn't sure how I would get there during the two weeks when my mom is at the Mt. Pleasant location but then we found out that a Carta bus picks up and drops off people right from the hospital. I wasn't sure how my previous employer would speak of me when the temp agency called but when I sat there and heard a good response, I felt confident in myself and in my actions and my choices. I have nothing to be afraid of.
All this stress I've gone through, all this pressure, all this junk, all this whatever you want to call it was the devil trying to get me to bail out and say I don't want to do it. I don't think I can measure up to anyone's standards. It was all a mind trick from him.
Once I noticed that the person from the temp agency thought I was just coming for help trying to find a job and not the one job I had my eye on, I had to say something. It was God's power, strength that gave me the courage to say it, to speak up and say what was needed to be said.
And from that time, that moment, I have been pretty confident that God is going to use me in a big way.

Praise Jesus!
Kim

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Burdens & Yokes

2007-11-26T07:42:00.002-08:00

God, why did you give me this burden to take?I don't feel that strong. I don't feel like I can handle it on my own.I can't do this without you God. It hurts so much more everyday.I'm sometimes ready to give up. Go my own way. But then I look back to how far I've gotten with you. And I can't let go.Not now. It's not just my own life. Its even more the people that I love and their burdens. Their hurts. I can't not pray for them. They are people that are always there for me in good times and bad times. I'm sometimes just waiting for them to leave. For them to say "I don't want to see your face anymore." "You annoy me." But now everytime I see them now they say the complete opposite "I love you" "You're so sincere" "I miss you" "You'll always be beautiful no matter what"It weirds me out but its nice. It's nice to hear words of love from people that you love and I love too.
Thank you God. I love you!
Kim
Matthew 11: 28 - 30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

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Mary & Martha

2007-11-26T07:42:00.001-08:00

Mary & Martha
I'm learning everyday now how to be more of Mary and not so much of a Martha. Its difficult you see. All I want to do is one of the two either work myself to the bone and barely holding on to the purpose of which it may be, or stay in the now present time be with my Lord wherever I go, whatever I do, whoever I talk to, being still in His presence, remembering I am His and He is mine. Sometimes I get the two confused, Mary and Martha. I may think I am doing somethin extravagent out of love when all the person wants is my time with them, my listening ears. I still have a job to do and Christ knows that but all He wants is my time. My heart. My love. MY surrendering to Him.

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Untitled

2007-11-26T07:40:00.002-08:00

untitled
I'm scared.
I'm scared of walking forward.
And I'm sure as heck scared of walking backward.
But I'm even more scared of staying right where I am.

I'm scared.
I'm scared of letting go.
And I'm scared of pulling back.
But I'm even more scared of holding on forever.
I don't know where to go.
I don't know what to do.

All I see is Jesus fighting the way.
I sometimes sit unsure as why.
Why He still wants me here.
Is my purpose really just to help my family or is there something more?
What about when they get older?
I know I will want to get away on my own.

What is my purpose?
Lord, What is my purpose?
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Pursuing life & Love

2007-11-26T07:40:00.001-08:00

This is a girl blog so guys if you are reading, take heed some worthy advice or just don't read.
I tend to be one of those girls that goes out of her way to get to know a guy and find out what he likes and somehow along the way forgets who she is, who God really made her to be, because she's maybe invested too much time in a guy that may not even be interested or worst completely oblivious of the whole situation. Well I'm sure I'm not the only girl that's like that. It stinks being hurt by each one of those experinces, but I've learned alot from each one of them. I've learned to HOLD ON TIGHTLY to who God made me. I may go astray a little each time, but deep inside I know in my heart who I am and who God has made me to be. A woman with a will to do something big for Him. A woman who cares those who are hurting in ever so many different ways. A woman with a spirit if let free to roam could change the world, one person at a time. A woman is continuously working on herself and asking for God's guidance.
I just pray I don't have to be stuck in this going out there pursuing the guy when he should be pursuing me. That's every girls hope and prayer. Take that to the bank, guys. For now I'm just going to pursue God's will for my life, and be completely satisfied in His love.
Kim
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You Matter To GOD!!!

2007-11-26T07:39:00.001-08:00

You Matter To God!

Insert name, you matter to God.
My one of my church pastor's says that alot in his messages and I will admit I never understood what it meant when he said that. When I initially heard that phrase, I was thinking, "Oh only if I fulfill my purpose in life and do what God calls me to do and don't make any mistakes and work to live a perfect life for God, spreading His word and love out there." But then I thought there's got to be more to this phrase "You matter to God."
I began to think well there was those two criminals on the hill with Jesus when He was crucified. One said, "So you're the Messiah, are you? Prove it by saving yourself - and us, to, while you're at it!"But the other criminal protested, "Don't you fear God even when you are dying? We deserve to die for our eveil deeds, but this man hasn't done anything wrong." Then he said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom." And Jesus replied, "I assure you, today you will be with me in paradise." (Luke 23:39-43)
With that, I looked at how the criminal who protested, who feared God and asked Jesus to remember him, he didn't do anything big he didn't go into the world and spread God's word, he didn't do alot, but he did believe that Jesus Christ was the Messiah and feared God in a way that mattered to Him.
Now this doesn't say that all the evil people in the bible or in the world don't matter to God. But that's a whole nother blog Right now I am focusing on the fact that we matter to God.
I thought about that passage and then I thought well what does it mean to matter to someone. What does it mean to matter to God? I thought about my family. I don't necessarily have to do anything for them, I just know that I matter to them and they love me. I hadn't thought about that in a long time. I was in the kitchen getting dinner ready for the family and I started tearing up. My sister noticed it. I didn't want to go into big depth about it. But I thought it would definitely be a great blog.
With all this said, I finally understand what it means to matter to someone and even more importantly God.
I don't have to do anything, I just matter, I am important, I am loved, I am cared for. He is always with me. He will leave the rest of the group just to find me, the that strayed.
MMMMM What amazing thoughts!!!
Go God!!
Kim S.

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What is a Christian?

2007-11-26T07:37:00.000-08:00

What is a Christian?
When that question came to me once, I was kind of baffelled because I have always viewed a Christian as someone who is out the passionately telling others about Christ and making a difference for Christ, not such mouch focusing on the careers of the world or much else but truly going out there and passionately speaking the truth of God with love. Well I have to say that can be one view of a Christian but I am now realizing that a Christian does not just have to be a out there on a soap box preaching to others. Or going to house to house. Or be a graduate of the ministry. I'm now realizing a Christian is a person who goes into the world knowing that God is in control of their lives, wherever they go, whatever they do, He is there. And even more Jesus is walking with them, holding their hand, picking them up when they fall. Hearing them when they pray out loud. And the Holy Spirit is their way to hear Father God respond in ever so many different ways
I'm now realizing a Christian is not just the preacher in church or the speaker that we see at a conference, they are the doctor we have for check ups, the neighbor we have down the road, the friend we see everyday, the cashier at the grocery store, the bank teller, the newscaster on TV, the airforce guy, the waiter at the resteraunt. It's so hard for me to admit to that I have looked up to people with such passion as that. But the same people who do the I just mentioned were just called in a diffent way. God called someone to be a preacher, and also gave someone a desire to be a doctor or a teacher but that doesn't mean that their faith in God has deminisced(sp?).
I don't know if this helps anyone else but writing this sure helped me.
Love ya,Kim

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Coming to Grips...

2007-11-26T07:35:00.002-08:00

I'm finally coming to grips with something. I don't want to go back to the life before. In the sense of, the memories. you know how some memories stick wiht you for ever and you can't get them out of your head, they can be good, they can be bad, but you wouldn't trade them for the world, because you know personally that God put those times those situations in your life to make you who you are at this moment(wow that's a run on sentence). Well that's what I'm talking about. I don't want to go back to those memories. I don't want to relive to memories the bad ones at least, continuously over and over again. If there is a time for me to see my friends or go back to the places of those memories, then let it be, but I won't force it. I want to live in the now. Be happy with who I am now. Where I am now. And with the amazing people that God has placed me with. Take in the time I have with my family and friends. Learn who I am and who God wants me to be. Live & walk in His presence everyday.
Kim

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Stand out of the Crowd

2007-11-26T07:35:00.001-08:00

The hardest years of my life by far were my high school years. I go back to them practically everyday. The memories are etched in my memory, as iff they could never be erased. Some people say that their high school years are are the best. Some people say that theirs were the worst. While others, they just say it was all a blur, mixed drugs and booze. Well I can't say any of that. I'm 23 yrs old and I still feel as if my my life is there but I know I'm not. I went back to my high school and I just didn't fit in to the school, the town, the area. It was like God had changed me into a whole new person. I may be able to think back on those memories but its as if I'm not a part of that time or that town anymore. He's changed me into something brand new. Something deep inside is better, something or someone wants to make a difference in peoples lives while I'm here.
Immediately after I left my town, I decided to devote my life into youth ministry and giving my time in the church. Through that I truely fell in love with the youth, guiding them through their lives, being there, laughing with them, crying with them, sharing memories with them, being silly with them, just being a kid with them. I had so many adult role models to go to for advice in situations that were way over my head or when the kids got a lil roudy. But I still believe at that point in my life I was in my heart a child, I wasn't ready for the responsibility of being a leader. I had this fear of people hating me. And even to this day it still creeps in. I will tell you that fear of people hating you will take over you. It will make you not want to do what you love to do. It hurts you terribly. I can't stand it. It doesn't want you to be yourself. It wants you to be someone you are not. If there is one thing in the world that I can't stand, it is that, the fear of people hating me. When I was in high school, it didn't consume me so much, sometime people would ask me why I hung out with certain people or why i don't do certain thing or why I go to church, and I'd reply that's who I am, or I like this person or this person is nice, or I don't want to do that. NOw as I've gotten older, it is much stronger, much harder. To stand out of the crowd and not be the typical. But that's what God asks us to do, stand out of the crowd, not be like everyone else.

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I sometimes...

2007-11-26T07:31:00.002-08:00

I sometimes...
I sometimes feel like
I am being pulled away
from who I am

But then when I go back
to where I used to be,
I miss the new.

And then I sit and say,
"God take this I can't take it.
You are the Master, the Driver,
I want what You want."

I love to stare at the sky,
the clouds, the stars, the moons
partly because they are beautiful
but even more knowing
and thinking that My Wonderful Master
created them for me to gaze at.
I sometimes love to lay in the grass
and daydream about the past, the future, and the present
It's wonderful to know that my Daddy knows what I am dreaming
He maybe laughing, smiling, waiting for the moment when I move on, and proud of me for doing something out of my comfort zone

I sometimes love to sing out loud
without people hearing me or with people hearing
I oddly enough don't like alot attention on me
I think its odd because I am a very out going girl
That's the creativity of God.

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A Long Walk Will...

2007-11-26T07:31:00.001-08:00

A long walk will either (a) wear you down to the point where you have call home and ask you family to pick you up, or (b) give you some strengthening courage to go do things that were scared to do before.
I'm partially saying in reference to myself and what I did this afternoon, but also talking about any problem we are scared to face on our own. Maybe we just take a walk, talk it out with God, give Him our worries, talk out the negatives and positives. That's what God is there for. He's a listening ear.
Not to leave out the shoulder to cry on. The arms to hold you when you need to be comforted. He's the supplier of all our needs and then SOME!! He's our protecter. Our defender. He gives us joy & laughter. He even better gives us wisdom when we really don't feel it or understand it. It's amazing what God does for us.
What I think is so cool and amazing and the best is when I think and say and write about this I'm also talking about Jesus Christ. He is One with the Father. I don't truly understand, not completely but I don't think anyone will untill we go to Heaven. But it's a great thing to think about.
Wow just imagine all that came from a hour 45 min walk. Go God!!
Kim

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Single Womans Prayer

2007-11-26T07:28:00.000-08:00

Single Woman's Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep.

One who's handsome, smart and strong,
Who's not afraid to admit when he is wrong.

One who thinks before he speaks.
When he promises to call, he doesn't wait six weeks.

I pray that he is gainfully employed,
Won't lose his cool when he's annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh send me a man who will make love to my mind.
Know what to say when I ask "How fat is my behind?"

One who'll make love till my body's a' itchin'
He brings ME a sandwich too, when he goes to the kitchen.

I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And never compare me to my best friend.

Thank you in advance and now I'll just wait,
For I know you will send him before it's too late.
Amen

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OH To Break Out!!

2007-11-26T07:25:00.000-08:00

Oh To break out.
To Break out of the routine.
Out of my own selfish bordem
To do something not usual.

Oh To break free.
Of what holds me to my regular life.
To live a life on the edge.
On the edge of possibly not knowing
Where God is going to lead me next.

Trusting Him with everything,
and I DO MEAN EVERYTHING.
From where I work, to what I eat
all the way to pursuing a relationship with someone
and with that one conquering a fear.

Trusting Him that He will be there
holding me, guiding me, talking to me,
putting the right people in my life to help me
with important decisions and/or guidance.
Oh To Break away!!
To Break Out of the Regular Routine!!
-Kim

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Unquenchable, Unstainable, Unfathomable

2007-11-26T07:21:00.000-08:00

I sometimes feel so sheltered by the life that I live. Going to church all the time. spending time with my Christian friends. Living at home with my Christian family, protected from the "so-called" world out there. But it's not protection. In so many other ways it's holding back of what maybe God really wants me and so many others to do. To break from what the society wants of us all and be the disciples. To share to the joy and love of God to them. Wherever we go in work, in the grocery store, in the library, in doctor's office, even in our times of deepest heart ache we need to show those that are hurting just as much we are that there is a way out, there is a way to get the love that no one on this great earth can do for us. And that is is God. He is the one who provides it all. Who listens to us we when cry out, when need Him most, He holds us. He love sthe unlovable.That's what his unfailing, unquenchable, unstainable, unfathomable, no words to describe love is like. We can't even imagine it. It's so great how one day we as believers will be filled fully with God's love in Heaven. Here on earth we can only get a small taste of it....when we ask.
Kim

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Patience & Contentment

2007-08-18T07:20:00.000-07:00

Patience is a hard thing to have and especially when things do not revolve around yourself. I've learned that recently. I can't make things go my way, not all the time. This is probably the hardest thing to understand but I have to learn it, so that one day I will be able to teach it. If you are going to teach it, you got to learn yourself. Changing the circumstances won't make things any better, if they can make things much worse. And be content at what I have done. There may be a day where I can't do that at all.

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2007-06-06T19:11:00.000-07:00

I live in this amazing world where we are all waiting for something amazing to reveal itself to each one of us in our own personal way or maybe even in one BIG way. Well that "something amazing" is Jesus Christ and He is revealing Himself to each one of us every day, every moment, all the time. We just have to make a choice to either deny it as a revelation and take it as just a thought or Satan getting to us, or we can take it as Jesus Christ Almighty Himself, speaking to us through the Holy Spirit. It's kind of like saying yes or no if you know someone from school and if you ever talked to them. When they come up to you, years later after graduation, and all of a sudden want to be a friend or just have a random chat. You can either deny that you know them while you are in front of your friends or you can say HI such and such. Either way, you don't know where it's going to lead to. Now this lovely message leads up to what I have been going through for a long time. I have been probably denying God an amazing reach out to others through my own life obstacles just because I was waiting for a big revelation for Him, kind of like Moses and the burning bush. Well quite a few people who know me know that I want to go into the ministry and work with youth somehow, not quite sure. But I also want to get the message across that it doesn't matter what others think, what really matters is what God thinks and what we think of ourselves. There's more to it but that's the basic jist of it. Well I have a possibility to work with youth in an area that I can tell is really needed but I know that I still need healing too in this part, which I am currently working on. As I'm writing this, things are coming to me and tell me that I will have help and guidance and leadership. I still need prayer for this. It could be a really good thing for Christ. I know I'm not the only one who is praying about it.

Kim S.

Prayer for Serenity

"God, grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

LIVING one day at a time,

ENJOYING one moment at a time;

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace;

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is;

Not as I would have it;

Trusting that You will make all things right

If I surrender to Your will;

So that I may Be reasonsably happy in this Life

And supremely happy with You

FOREVER in the next"

Amen

~Reinhold Niebuhr~

Let God Shine Through

2007-05-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday...
I decided I was sick of doing things to please others
to make others happy
I decided if I was going to do anything, if I was going to work hard,
I was going to do it for God and God alone.
I annouced that to my friends as I was venting about the troubles and pressures of the home
and they liked that but they tossed in the doing it also for myself.
Maybe make me feel like I accomplished something.
A job well done.
I agree with that
But I feel that I need to put God first in all my jobs.
Whether the mediocre cleaning of the floor, or sweeping of the porch
or all the way to helping feed the hungry.
I need to put God first in everything.
If I don't then my head is going to swell up.
So I did that I cleaned the floor, I swept the porch, I cleaned the windows,
so God's glory could shine through. Where the is dirt and must, He is not.
I did it with love, love for Him, love for myself because I just was getting tired of not doing anything, and love for my family. LOVE!!!

Kim S.

Passion & Trust

2007-03-12T16:03:00.000-07:00

I recently came across a poem that I wrote a few years ago and I speaks magnitudes about what so many times I feel and I'm sure we all go through in life.

Why Me?

Why Me, God?!

Why Me?

Why did You have chose me

As a representative of Your Kingdom

I'm nothing special

I've done nothing great

Why have I been chosen?

What makes You think

that I can fulfill whatever You command?

I haven't lived Your "Perfect" Life

I haven't drank Your "Perfect" Wine

I don't live in Your "Perfect" Mansion

I didn't ask

I didn't beg

I didn't audition

I didn't sign up

I didn't

But You did

You adopted me

You took away the pain

And hurt from before

And made me feel loved

And made me feel wanted

You made me Your Little Princess

Oh I can remember the cornation

I may have not been the best

but I know that I have received

the best reward

I have fallen and tripped

Repeatedly

But You still come to my rescue

But You still come to my aid and my cries

I have said You name in Vanity

And cursed loudly to others

I have lost my temper

And done things I have know You would

Disapprove

But You still come and cradle me

When I am running back to You

You are still right there where I left You

On the trail of Life and Love

My Earthly father's love had diminished

and my earthly mother's love will

slowly die away

But Yours will forever be there

Forever be at the request

Forever be at my longing

Why me?

Why did it have to be me?

Why am I chosen for this task?

Why can't I be tossed to the side line?

Why me?

As I write that I out again, I think about many different times since I have written it that have probably come into my life which I have questioned so many times and been scared and not completely trusted God. That's a big thing that I can say do trust in God but I really have to put it into practice.

New Revelation Among The Choir

2006-12-19T16:30:00.000-08:00

I live in this amazing world where we are all waiting for something amazing to reveal itself to each one of us in our own personal way or maybe even in one BIG way. Well that "something amazing" is Jesus Christ and He is revealing Himself to each one of us every day, every moment, all the time. We just have to make a choice to either deny it as a revelation and take it as just a thought or Satan getting to us, or we can take it as Jesus Christ Almighty Himself, speaking to us through the Holy Spirit.

It's kind of like saying yes or no if you know someone from school and if you ever talked to them. When they come up to you, years later after graduation, and all of a sudden want to be a friend or just have a random chat. You can either deny that you know them while you are in front of your friends or you can say HI such and such. Either way, you don't know where it's going to lead to.

Now this lovely message leads up to what I have been going through for a long time. I have been probably denying God an amazing reach out to others through my own life obstacles just because I was waiting for a big revelation for Him, kind of like Moses and the burning bush. Well quite a few people who know me know that I want to go into the ministry and work with youth somehow, not quite sure. But I also want to get the message across that it doesn't matter what others think, what really matters is what God thinks and what we think of ourselves. There's more to it but that's the basic jist of it. Well I have a possibility to work with youth in an area that I can tell is really needed but I know that I still need healing too in this part, which I am currently working on. As I'm writing this, things are coming to me and tell me that I will have help and guidance and leadership. I still need prayer for this. It could be a really good thing for Christ. I know I'm not the only one who is praying about it.

Kim S.

25th Day of Praise For God!!

2006-11-25T13:49:00.000-08:00

In the book "Thirty-One Days of Praise" by Ruth Meyers, it is a glorious thanksgiving toward God of what He has given and blessed us with. I started reading it with my aunt while working just to start work or maybe in the middle of work just to keep things good between us, but then I would every once in a while read it just because I was having a rough day and needed to see what reminder I needed to have that God had given me in my life. Well recently it seemed like every day, from day 17th to now day 25, it has all been something I truely need and have been blessed with or maybe struggling with at that time or even moment.

You know that song "Praise You in This Storm" By Casting Crowns? Well I've been dealing with a big storm. A huge one as a matter of fact and in some cases it came to the point where I was even doubting God and His power. I was afraid to admit it. I had believed in God my whole life and for me, a life long Christian and believer in Christ, to doubt God and His power, that's hard to comprehend. I was fighting it for the longest time. I would be crying out to God saying save me from this I want to believe You. After I finally admitted it to a friend, that I was doubting God, they said, Hey we all doubt God sometime, He wants us to. That doesn't mean that you don't believe though.

Now back to the book, Day 24 & 25 kept thanking God for our many failures and mistakes and says that He works ALL things for the good. When I read that I immediately thought oh so He must include every bad thought, every hurtful word, everything that I had ever done without ever thinking to anyone that I loved, He used "those" for good? Then it really came to me when maybe a week ago I had put on a new song on my myspace "Hold Fast" by MercyMe, honestly I put it on because I love MercyMe and from what the lyrics sounded, it was exactly what I needed to hear. Well then not too long later, a friend who I hadn't talked in ages, messaged me and said that the same song had touched them and they even thought about getting the cd. Go figure. My struggles that I was dealing with and me not even thinking about what song I was going to put on my myspace can touch someone. God does work in some miraculous ways.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

"He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."" Matthew 17:20

Kim S.

Musician's Heart

2006-11-09T09:39:00.000-08:00

I have always enjoyed writing, ever since I was young, but only for pure entertainment. Just to write stories of what I wished would happen in my life. Like my own little fairy tales, they would trail on forever. Sometimes I wouldn't even write them. I would be talking to God and it would be like a prayer telling Him, "It would be nice if this would happen this way....." Occasionally I catch myself doing that still. But now more and more I have get my writings from what I hear or see, whether worship songs or music that I hear on the radio. I remember the first poem that I ever wrote in high school was a kind of silly, now that I think about it, childlike poem called "I Want You Back" sort of my own rendition to the NSYNC song "I Want You Back" but I was my own. As I grew up though, I got some really serious writings that all have to do with something that I thought never really understood. They were all about Love and about Jesus' coming back. Both things I was really looking forward to, but hadn't really grasped the concept of. I was still young, could you blame me?
Well now, here I come to you with a whole different view. I really desiring to know what God's love is, what I means to be held in His arms, to really grasp the beauty that He made in me, and to be able to love others I know not nearly as much as He loves me or them but just to try and let them know that He cares. That's what I want.
I remember not to long ago I was in a weird place, trying to understand the whole concept of God's role as a Father and how He sends other Godly men in the to take over the father role if your father is absent. And something came to me, at first I didn't know what to do and then I just kept writing, so here it is:

You are beautiful! Softly woven in God's image. There is nothing in this world like you.
Just think not one person, not one! has gone through all the glorious things I have designed
specifically for you.
So anytime you feel down or depressed or not worthy of love, or not even worthy of someone else's touch, trust, hope, care, love, mercy, grace, intimacy, anything. Just remember
that God gave you that all first through His Son living a sin free life
but then taking your sins and bearing them on the cross to rise again and to give you life.

To Live It Abundantly!

Love ,
Your Daddy!!

Kim S.

Fortune Cookies...

2006-09-27T16:35:00.000-07:00

The other day I was hanging out with a group of friends and picked up a fortune cookie. Now let me tell you something about myself, when reading fortunes for fortune cookies, I don't really take them and believe that they really have anything to do with me or my fortune or whatever the case may be. But in this case, it was quite piculuar(sp?) to receive this one fortune. It said
something along the lines of " You must make changes before receiving your reward."

Now take a peak at my past blogs, I've been seriously changing alot about myself in the dating ascpect(I used to be TERRIFIED of dating), I learned how much I've changed in just one year in being away from my friends & co-workers (I was searching for way to get back), and just recently I've found out that I have some serious trust issues(never knew I had). Can we talk about changes?! The real question is what is the reward?!

I suppose for now I just need to be patient and live my life as if I had never came across that fortune cookie. Like it says in the Bible:

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice...
Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."
Philippians 4:4, 6

My requests right now are that my mind to calmed and my heart be put to rest through God's peace. No stress!

Make Your Requests Know To Him! He's Listening

Kim S.

And You Thought Men Had Commitment Issues...

2006-09-24T02:40:00.000-07:00

It wasn't until someone that I had talked a couple times and hardly knew me, could randomly blurt out one kind of pressure filled night of a conversation, "Why don't you trust people?!" That totally caught off by surprise. I didn't even respond to it. How could they, who I hardly talk to & doesn't even know my life story, accuse ME of not trusting people? Well as I've looked at it more and more since that question came to me, I realized maybe I do have some trust issues. Oh sure I can trust that a person will do something but its those really important things that matter to me.

Did you know that in the dictionary there are 12 definitions for the word, commit?

Commit:

1.	to give in trust or charge; consign.

2.	to consign for preservation: to commit ideas to writing; to commit a poem to memory.

3.	to pledge (oneself) to a position on an issue or question; express (one's intention, feeling, etc.): Asked if he was a candidate, he refused to commit himself.

4.	to bind or obligate, as by pledge or assurance; pledge: to commit oneself to a promise; to be committed to a course of action.

5.	to entrust, esp. for safekeeping; commend: to commit one's soul to God.

6.	to do; perform; perpetrate: to commit murder; to commit an error.

7.	to consign to custody: to commit a delinquent to a reformatory.

8.	to place in a mental institution or hospital by or as if by legal authority: He was committed on the certificate of two psychiatrists.

9.	to deliver for treatment, disposal, etc.; relegate: to commit a manuscript to the flames.

10.	to send into a battle: The commander has committed all his troops to the front lines.

11.	Parliamentary Procedure. to refer (a bill or the like) to a committee for consideration.

–verb (used without object)

12.	to pledge or engage oneself: an athlete who commits to the highest standards.

But I think the only commit that really matters to God is when we give Him our whole hearts.

"So that all the peoples of the earth may know that the LORD is God and that there is no other. But your hearts must be fully committed to the LORD our God, to live by his decrees and obey his commands, as at this time.Then the king and all Israel with him offered sacrifices before the LORD. "
1 Kings 8: 60 - 62

He doesn't except for us all to be perfect, but I know that God expects me to live my life to be more Christlike. He will guide me through these trust issues and help me overcome them. I trust in Him.

Kim S.

On The Edge...

2006-09-04T18:27:00.000-07:00

Right when I thought I had everything under control, I was hit with something unexpected. That tends to happen to all of us, I would suppose. These past couple weeks have been a doozy of a life for me, and I know they're just the beginning of my life but God has made it so that I have to put my life in His hands. I really worried alot about what others would think or how they would react to certain news, but then when I finally told them, they shrugged it off like there was nothing. I felt like some manic depressive or something because I was stressing over the REALLY small stuff in life when God wanted me to just live for Him. Whoever came up with the phrase "don't sweat the small stuff" was a pure genius but I don't really think anyone listens to it until its way too late and they're already sweating it all. LOL

Seriously, Don't sweat the small stuff in life. That's all God's work, even then He doens't even sweat it. He knows its going to be okay in the end.

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard you hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

~ Philippians 4:6-7

Kim S.

My Ultimate Goals In Life

2006-08-15T12:16:00.000-07:00

Times have really changed for me recently and I've thought about my over time goals in life and my more reachable goals that both by God's power, definetly not by mine, are capable. And so I'd like to place here so you know what they are, and for future reference.

Here you go~>

Over Time Goals:

~ Write a Book about my family's life

~ Start a ministry or two for youth

~ Share my life & struggles with at least one person in my path
~ Learn the guitar
~ Experience PURE JOY

Goals for the next 365 days:
~ Pay off at least one of the two school debts
~ Experience PURE JOY
~ Watch every movie stated in both Captivating & Wild at Heart
~ Watch all movies that have a Cinderella theme
~ Memorize Philipians 4
~ Become Transparent

Now I have to admit, some of these goals may look either childish or just plain scratch-your-head-and-think-a-little but they hold meaning to me. I know that without God's guidance and fellowship with other Godly Christians, I can't achieve them. Or should I say I can but they just wouldn't be worth it? I just pray that God will lead me to the right people in my life right now or in the future that will help me achieve them.

Kim S.

Prayers / Roadie Day 1 & 2

2006-07-24T12:29:00.000-07:00

We were packing the car up and there obviously not going to be enough room for my air mattress so I had to ring up a friend (Answered prayed 1) she didn't answer but I left a message, as much as I dislike leaving messages. Then I went on doing something new for our travels, a small quiet time, then we all went around and prayed a short lil' prayer. As I was about to finish, she called back and said she would let me borrow an air mattress and sheets. ISN'T GOD GREAT!!!!!!! Then we went on the road, it was pleasant nothing major happened(another answered prayer 2). Then we arrived in VA early (answered prayer 3). The next day was sort of long but not really. I got to see a cousin of mine and his girlfriend, who I had never met. These days I've been really into wanting to see my cousins and getting to know them and now this was a great way(sooo answered prayer 4). They saw me have a seizure which was weird but I liked that they didn't flee from the scene. I tend to think that if anyone sees me have one, they'll flee, but it was very, how do I put it, heartwarming to know that they didn't they that I was going insane or something (answered prayer 5).

God answers prayers, it just takes time or sometimes He says no, or yes. He's cool like that.

Kim S.

Prayer & Life Rocks BABY!!!!!

2006-07-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

I absolutely LOVE prayer. It is speaking to God on a whole different level. My entire life, I've desired to understand God in a different way. Going to church never seeming to be enough, reading the Bible had been just weird for me, and fellowship was such a fake on my own. Then I just started praying. At the beginning, in little tiny ways, asking for small things. And God is totally SWEET!!!! It's kindof sareal(sp?) that I am here in Maryland and that I have been hanging out with my friends and just all that stuff. I still am trying to understand WHY. But it is so flippin' beautiful that God decided to let me be here just for a short while. Prayer is that time to be in one with God and have, as Bill Hornsby said once, silence & solitude. Sometimes you don't even have to be silent. You don't even have to be in solitude. I like how right now as I am sitting here typing this, I am completely surronded by others. But I don't really think that they know what I am writing or thinking about, or they won't until I publish this. Its cool like that. LOL

Prayer rocks but you won't be able to find out the results from it until you speak to God and communicate with Him without trying to get anything out of Him.

Kim S.

A Day On The Beach...

2006-07-07T06:23:00.000-07:00

Oh to spend an entire day on God's wonderful creation and see what He made for us all to take in is just like, I guess (since I've never been there) Heaven On Earth. There were so many moments that I wanted to just back out and say "NO I'm not doing it, I'm not going to be welcomed with opened arms." But I could tell that God had other plans for this day.

I bet you're wondering what in the world is she talking about?! Well, my fine feathered fireworked friend, on the Fourth of July, I spent the ENTIRE day on the beach. And it was FANTABULOUS!!!! I do mean that in the most true form. These days God has truly seen and heard my heart's cry and desire for friends and people to be able to, I guess, just be somewhat, if not already, real with. And now I'm kind of at this point where I don't even know who I am anymore. Well God is amazing. He truly is. This weekend I was probably more scared than anybody because I knew NO ONE, but maybe one or two and that was by them greeting me. I was not sure of what God was going to do, but God took control. And did He ever?! I had a great time. I met so many people and just really got to understand a little bit more about myself. It was great. There were times where I had to sit and just kind of soak in the the atmosphere, well hey it is a beach and there is a sun right above us, isn't there?! But during those times I medidated on the whole idea that there I was sitting resting on what God had created for me just years ago, well maybe not just years ago but I think we get the idea. There was nothing fancy there except for some awesome Christian music playing in the background and a few tents here and there, but really it was just us and God's creation, simple as that. I loved it. There was a time in my life where I hated going to the beach. I hated the sand in toes, I hated the water in my hair, I hated the birds. I hated it all. And now I look back at this, and it just erases it from my memory. I am no nature freak by any means necesary but now I see THE CREATION in a COMPLETELY different light. It's beautiful and magnificient, yet we destroy it to make way for ourselves.
Well, I'm not done with the day at the beach quite yet. Over the day, I finally got over my fear of the water and waves, and went into the beach twice. Isn't God great and fear conquering?!! I also played some ball and just hung out . It was great. I think a truly awesome gift God gave us after being together in the sun and fellowshipping was just worshipping Him and thanking Him for the amazing lives He had blessed us with and and sacrificing His Son, Jesus, on that Cross so that we may be able to live this life for Him and bring others to Him. Just a couple acoustic guitars, bongos and our voices, singing out to Him, praising and thanking Him for what He has done and will do our lives there on the beach, His Creation. No Fancy Amps, No Flashy Lights, No PowerPoints, Nothing, Just Us & Him. That's really all He wants. It was great. It was beyond GREAT!!

Hebrews 12:28-29
Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken,
let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire.”

Kim S.

Things of Symbolism & Importance...

2006-06-29T19:22:00.000-07:00

There are those times in a person's life where they truly recongnize what is valuable to them and what makes them cringe inside. Today, I thought I had made a major break through just by telling my family that I was reading a book about dating and relationships but then today everywhere someone was told to read, and I truly felt that God was telling that He had something else to say to me. I didn't do it until this afternoon but I did eventually. Then I read something that made me come to grips, I need to find MYSELF and the passions that God has bestowed upon me for His kingdom before I even think about relationships or any of that sort. And as I looked back at what really has mattered to me, I see the things that have brought true joy, and happiness, music and being a part of others in the sense of this:

John 17:15-17

15My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. 17Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.

For me, it means I can be in the world but not of the world. I can live in it and have loved ones that are a part of it but that doesn't mean that I have to be of that. I can and will still continuously love my Daddy, Abba, even if I sin. I know He loves me No matter what. That's just an amazing thing to comprehend.

I still sit here and ponder His will for the life that He created for me to live for Him. I just know that I am a blank sheet of paper and Jesus is the CRAYON. I am the blank canvas and He is the WATER COLORS. I am nothingness and Jesus is Everything.

God is The Painter. The Ultimate Artist. The Musician. The Speaker. The Everything.

Kim S.

Life Freedom...God-Given Freedom

2006-06-27T19:28:00.000-07:00

Previous posts I have said that I would never tell my family that I read Boundaries In Dating. Well today, it was kind of slow but a God granted & God blessed experience. I felt like that my mom, aunt, sister, and grandma all understood where I was coming from when I said that I was fearful of telling them about it. When I was given their full attention, I felt like God was giving me the words to speak. It was fabulous!!!

God is an AMAZING GOD!!! He made healthy family relationships possible.
"Thank you, God."

Kim S.

Dating Truthes...or Lies

2006-06-26T17:13:00.000-07:00

Boundaries in Dating(cont'd)
When I read a book that I really like, I tend to be one who just speeds right through it because I want to find out the ending. But this book is one where I just want to soak it all in. And I've never ever EVER hidden a book from my family before. EVER. I guess I feel like if they find out that I am reading a book about dating, it's all over for me, they will be fixing me up for sure and I don't want my first date to be like that. God is really making me see things in a whole different way of light. I never thought relationships could be on that type of level and still be fun and exciting at the same time. It's wonderful. Thanks be to God!!

Kim S.

What Boundaries...In Dating that is?

2006-06-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

Hi
God has seriously been speaking to me lately. I don't like admitting the honest truth but after reading just the first chapter of this book, I'm going to.
If you put the word, ambiguous, in front of a kindergartener and asked them to tell you what it meant, they would have no clue(unless they were some God-Bless genius). Well that's me with dating. It's ALL over the place. Everywhere. I can't seem to hide from it. However, I don't know what it is.
Recently, the book, Boundaries in Dating, has been leaping out at me and this evening I read it, or just the first chapter. It's very different from what I have seen in my peers' relationships. I've interpreted so many different things. I've been so afraid to get involved and just because of God and His amazingly Divine Power, He made me see the good things in solid dating relationships, just in one chapter. I'm not going to give up on the book and go hop into the dating world just yet. But it just shows that there are many things in a relationship outside the stately obvious. I've been searching for something more. God gave me that ultimately with His Son and He knows my deepest desires. He won't hurt me. I love those truthes. They're amazing.

Kim S.

The Start of Something Amazingly New!!

2006-06-22T16:26:00.000-07:00

Hi
Who would think that God would have such a plan as this? To put me, Kim, on this earth to become something important in His kingdom. I'm still kind of bewildered by that fact. I mean seriously I've looked at so many things that have happened in just the past few days, weeks, months, or even years, and I say "God, why did You save me from all those experiences?" or " Why did you let those great things happen to me?" It still puts me in awe. He truly has my best interest in mind and heart. This morning I sat down and almost cried finally learning that God loves me more than anyone ever could in this world, and it almost scares me but I love that I have someone up there loving me NO MATTER what I do wrong or right in my life. It's great. You can't find that anywhere on the face of the earth or in the entire galaxy. It has taken me over 22 yrs and a ton of broken hearts to figure this Godly love thing out. I've known that He's loved me unconditionally but I never thought about other factors. It's truly the unseen. Wow!!

1Corinthians 13 says:

Love

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Kim S.